True compassion is love in action.
When Yahweh forgives, it’s time for us to forget!
Our needs can not exhaust Yahweh’s supply.
It is Yahweh alone who provides for our needs.
I am holy… set apart. Yahushua lives in me! Amen.
John 6:47 “Verily, verily, I say unto you, he that believeth in Me hath everlasting life.”
I have great worth apart from my performance because Yahushua gave his life for me, and therefore, imparted great value to me. I am deeply loved, fully pleasing, totally forgiven, accepted, and complete in my savior.
“Thank you Father Yahweh, for accepting me when I am so unacceptable.
I accept Yahushua as my Christ my Messiah, and that is why You accept me. Thank You, thank You, thank You! Glory HalleluYah!”
“Father Yahweh,
Help me to understand Your timing. Grant me patience. Help me not to get in Your way!Your will be done Father, Your will. Amen”
Reminder: Do your best to present yourself to Father Yahweh as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed.
John 6:44 “No man can come to Me, except which hath sent Me draw him: and I will raise him up at the last day.”
Welcome to Wisteria~Rain's realm of reality...a blog of the odd mind and strange times of Julie "Jewels" Seeley.
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Wake Up!
Well, I am still here. I have watched a bit more of Zeitgeist and found a Vid of Bill Clinton... I have now moved on to Prison Plant. I have to stop and ponder though. Is this being Worldly? If my eye is not on The Father and I am not storing up treasures in Heaven...if I educate those in my realm and fill them with fear... I come back to the same thing every time. I truly need a man in my life to cover me. I know there are woman out there who think I am stupid. I didn't say I need a man to think for me...if you don't have a relationship with Father God and Jesus is not your savior well, you aren't going to understand "ME" at all. Who are you to judge anyway? I am unimportant so I doubt I will be killed anyway. I have no ties to the elite and I certainly am no threat. I am awake...the question is: Are you awake and aware of what is going on in Satan's world?
Paul Joseph WatsonPrison PlanetFriday, July 18, 2008
The world is cooling, sea levels are falling, ice is spreading, there are fewer extreme weather events, and it was hotter 1000 years ago, yet the myth of global warming is providing governments the excuse to micromanage every aspect of our lives, with Al Gore now openly calling for a carbon tax on the energy we use.
Following the end of the Sun’s most active period in over 11,000 years, the last 10 years have displayed a clear cooling trend as temperatures post-1998 leveled out and are now plummeting.
But such figures won’t deter the agenda of control freaks like Al Gore, who last night publicly called for a carbon tax to be imposed on the use of fossil fuels at a time when even middle class families are struggling to pay the bills as a result of a crippled economy, soaring oil prices and inflation.
Zeitgeist - The Movie
Matthew 4
8…the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."
10Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.
Shabbat Shalom:
It is Sabbath, Saturday July 19, 2008 and I have just found Satan’s tool for
bringing the world together under a One World Order. I would say it is a New World Order, however Satan has been trying to bring the world together since he was first thrown here, so I can't. Watch for yourself, just copy and paste the following in to the YouTube search window and get educated!
Zeitgeist - The Movie: Federal Reserve
I have always made myself aware of the enemy and if you have read any of my other writings you know I have no sympathy for the devil. He hates us! All he cares about is destroying God’s creations, and we ignorantly help him out. Yeah, I’d like to help him out, right out of our world; however we are stuck with him and all his excrement!
Matthew 18:7"Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!
Woe to world, true that! Thanks for the warning Father! I don’t blame you though; I would throw my children out of my house if they disrespected me like Yours did! To know You so intimately and understand how the household runs, and then to spit on all You have provided… yeah, if I pulled that with my parents I am sure they would have kicked me out of their house as well! This is not what I am speaking of though! I am speaking of what I have learned. I spend a lot of time trying to understand the book of Revelations. I try to discern what trumpet is next to sound, what seals are left to be opened and where exactly we are in the End Time, don’t think we are not in the end time, we are! Satan was only given a short time to prove his point.
Revelation 12:12
“…woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short."
If you don’t believe what you read here, well, you can always pick up the Bible and read it yourself. I am just sharing my thoughts and looking for like minded people to fellowship with…and educate those who are sitting on the fence or thinking they have more time! Either you are for God or you are against Him.
James 4:4Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
So, I am in Revelations and praying for understanding and enlightenment. I then read a passage and scratch my head and ponder the “How?” If you are aware of the # of the beast, and come on now, everyone should be aware of that in America! Iron Maiden helped with that!
Revelation 13:7-18
7 It was granted to him to make war with the saints and to overcome them. And authority was given him over every tribe, tongue, and nation. 8 All who dwell on the earth will worship him, whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. 9 If anyone has an ear, let him hear. 10 He who leads into captivity shall go into captivity; he who kills with the sword must be killed with the sword. Here is the patience and the faith of the saints.
The Beast from the Earth
11 Then I saw another beast coming up out of the earth, and he had two horns like a lamb and spoke like a dragon. 12 And he exercises all the authority of the first beast in his presence, and causes the earth and those who dwell in it to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed. 13 He performs great signs, so that he even makes fire come down from heaven on the earth in the sight of men. 14 And he deceives those who dwell on the earth by those signs which he was granted to do in the sight of the beast, telling those who dwell on the earth to make an image to the beast who was wounded by the sword and lived. 15 He was granted power to give breath to the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak and cause as many as would not worship the image of the beast to be killed. 16 He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, 17 and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. 18 Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.
…whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. 9 If anyone has an ear, let him hear. I don’t know about you, however I pray and plead forgiveness for all my sins and ask Father Yahweh to allow me to stand before Him washed in the precious blood of Yahushua or Yahshua…Jesus however you refer to our redeemer! I pray for the strength to be able NOT to receive the Mark of the Beast. I know what that is now! I understand who Babylon the great is…it is the United States of America who is run by the Federal Reserve, which by the way has nothing to do with the federal government so why we are paying a federal tax…watch the movie!
Revelation 18
The Fall of Babylon the Great
1 After these things I saw another angel coming down from heaven, having great authority, and the earth was illuminated with his glory. 2 And he cried mightily with a loud voice, saying, “Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and has become a dwelling place of demons, a prison for every foul spirit, and a cage for every unclean and hated bird! 3 For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth have become rich through the abundance of her luxury.”4 And I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. 5 For her sins have reached to heaven, and God has remembered her iniquities. 6 Render to her just as she rendered to you,and repay her double according to her works; in the cup which she has mixed, mix double for her. 7 In the measure that she glorified herself and lived luxuriously, in the same measure give her torment and sorrow; for she says in her heart, ‘I sit as queen, and am no widow, and will not see sorrow.’ 8 Therefore her plagues will come in one day—death and mourning and famine. And she will be utterly burned with fire, for strong is the Lord God who judges her.
The World Mourns Babylon’s Fall
9 “The kings of the earth who committed fornication and lived luxuriously with her will weep and lament for her, when they see the smoke of her burning, 10 standing at a distance for fear of her torment, saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! For in one hour your judgment has come.’ 11 “And the merchants of the earth will weep and mourn over her, for no one buys their merchandise anymore: 12 merchandise of gold and silver, precious stones and pearls, fine linen and purple, silk and scarlet, every kind of citron wood, every kind of object of ivory, every kind of object of most precious wood, bronze, iron, and marble; 13 and cinnamon and incense, fragrant oil and frankincense, wine and oil, fine flour and wheat, cattle and sheep, horses and chariots, and bodies and souls of men. 14 The fruit that your soul longed for has gone from you, and all the things which are rich and splendid have gone from you, and you shall find them no more at all. 15 The merchants of these things, who became rich by her, will stand at a distance for fear of her torment, weeping and wailing, 16 and saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city that was clothed in fine linen, purple, and scarlet, and adorned with gold and precious stones and pearls! 17 For in one hour such great riches came to nothing.’ Every shipmaster, all who travel by ship, sailors, and as many as trade on the sea, stood at a distance 18 and cried out when they saw the smoke of her burning, saying, ‘What is like this great city?’ 19 “They threw dust on their heads and cried out, weeping and wailing, and saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city, in which all who had ships on the sea became rich by her wealth! For in one hour she is made desolate.’ 20 “Rejoice over her, O heaven, and you holy apostles and prophets, for God has avenged you on her!”
Finality of Babylon’s Fall
21 Then a mighty angel took up a stone like a great millstone and threw it into the sea, saying, “Thus with violence the great city Babylon shall be thrown down, and shall not be found anymore. 22 The sound of harpists, musicians, flutists, and trumpeters shall not be heard in you anymore. No craftsman of any craft shall be found in you anymore, and the sound of a millstone shall not be heard in you anymore. 23 The light of a lamp shall not shine in you anymore, and the voice of bridegroom and bride shall not be heard in you anymore. For your merchants were the great men of the earth, for by your sorcery all the nations were deceived. 24 And in her was found the blood of prophets and saints, and of all who were slain on the earth.”
Not only do I understand revelations better now, I also am noticing the warning The Father is giving: 3 For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth have become rich through the abundance of her luxury.” Now you know the US is the most powerful country in the world, which would be because the founders of this great country secured that position. The World Trade Center is housed in NYC, New York and believe me the merchants of the earth have and still are getting rich through the luxury provided by the US!4 And I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. 5 For her sins have reached to heaven, and God has remembered her iniquities. 6 Render to her just as she rendered to you, and repay her double according to her works; in the cup which she has mixed, mix double for her. 7 In the measure that she glorified herself and lived luxuriously, in the same measure give her torment and sorrow; for she says in her heart, ‘I sit as queen, and am no widow, and will not see sorrow.’
We see sorrow now, but why? Oh, I remember! The Federal Reserve! That’s right! What did Father God say? I’ll use the New King James Version and I am going to put in the search box~ the root of all evil:
Malachi 4:1[ The Day of the LORD ] "Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire," says the LORD Almighty. "Not a root or a branch will be left to them.”1 Timothy 6:10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
Where the heck is she going with all this, don’t get your panties in a bunch! You know I always tie things up! I have to agree with Paton or was it Douglas’ quote: absolute power corrupts absolutely… which is what Satan is all about. He is trying to prove he is more powerful than the Creator. He wants to prove that he can do the same as Father God. (Yeah what The Father accomplished in six days is taking Lucifer 666 zillion-zillion days…you know what I mean… Lucifer is never going to pull it off, us poor slobs. All because we are not to worship angels and that is what Lucifer wants so badly! To be worshipped and not just as a god but as God! What a jerk! Yo! Luce! How can you be greater than He that created you? You were not created to rule the world and receive worship… granted The Father GAVE you the world, but you are never going to be able to make it into a paradise. You aren’t even going to be around for all eternity to see how the Father does it. No second chance for you! Thank You Father for giving all humans a second chance. Thank You for the instruction manual. My free will. Most of all, I thank You for the sacrifice of Your beloved son! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!)
Back to the number of the beast! People did you know that, due to terrorism; which if you have watched the movie you know is all sponsored by the Federal Reserve for the purpose of a eventual One World System; (Oh Lucifer you are a clever puppeteer, using money and power…ahh… woe to us for sure.) that Congress passed the REAL ID Act of 2005? Well, they did!
http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d109:HR00418:
H.R.418 Title: To establish and rapidly implement regulations for State driver's license and identification document security standards, to prevent terrorists from abusing the asylum laws of the United States, to unify terrorism-related grounds for inadmissibility and removal, and to ensure expeditious construction of the San Diego border fence.
Why are they targeting driver’s licenses? Most Americans have one as do terrorist and one of the amendments on the REAL ID Act of 2005 is:
Amendment requires the Department of Homeland Security to enter into the appropriate aviation security screening database any person convicted of using a false driver's license in attempting to board an airplane. (A002)
I personally disagree, anyone A N Y O N E at the airport with a false driver’s license should be entered into the database. Just because they have been lucky in the past and haven’t been convicted, shouldn't give them a free pass! Anyone with a false driver’s license is a liar and untrustworthy and certainly should not be at the airport messing with my peace of mind or yours for that matter! Then it dawns on me! My driver’s license has one of those lovely swipe bars on the back of it. Hell’s Bells! Look what I found!
Who is distributing RFID enabled technology?
All major credit cards:
Visa (Contactless)
MasterCard (PayPass)
American Express (ExpressPay)
All state drivers licenses:US government (REAL ID Act of 2005)
All passports and visas:US government (REAL ID Act of 2005)
Electronic Road Toll devices:Delaware, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Virginia (E-ZPass), Texas (TollTag and EZ TAG), California (FasTrak), Florida (SunPass) Oklahoma (PikePass), Minnesota (MnPass)
"Fast-pay" key tags and car tags: ExxonMobile (SpeedPass)
http://www.emvelope.com/information is the direct link!
The mark of the beast! Oh, and now they are introducing a chip, just like for your pet, so you can be located and found and all your information will be ready available for those who want it. Excuse me? Wait? If If I am a bad dog what will happen to me? You'll detonate the chip and do away with me? Or worse! Turn it off and leave me without a means to function in society. I won't be able to buy food or drink. If my chip isn't working will they think me dead, and delete me from the system? I will be working, but my bank will have closed my account due to my death. The bank computer as well as The DMV will have reported my death to my employer and therefore my clearance will be revoked... In order to function in Satan's system of things I would have to willingly go to the government and have them reactivate or give me a new chip! I am not alone in this! You will have to get in line too! I hope this information is making angry and you are sharing this righteous indignation I am feeling! Are you picking up what I am putting down? We are being used by the privileged and elite of America. We work four months a year to help them keep us hard working people down. We are the elites slaves!
I am going to stop here and go watch the rest of the Zeitgeist - The Movie I pray they will tell me how to fight this invasion of privacy as well as my rights. Just knowing that I work four months of the year to support The Federal Reserve who controls the government... and there is no law that states I have to pay Federal Taxes, grrrrr! What the French Toast! How mind controlled we are! We have to wake up people, not just Americans but everyone! We need to learn how to fight Satan and then share it with each other. If I learn anything I will come back and share. If you don’t hear from me again…know that I must have been on to something and that is why I am now dead!
8…the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."
10Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.
Shabbat Shalom:
It is Sabbath, Saturday July 19, 2008 and I have just found Satan’s tool for
bringing the world together under a One World Order. I would say it is a New World Order, however Satan has been trying to bring the world together since he was first thrown here, so I can't. Watch for yourself, just copy and paste the following in to the YouTube search window and get educated!
Zeitgeist - The Movie: Federal Reserve
I have always made myself aware of the enemy and if you have read any of my other writings you know I have no sympathy for the devil. He hates us! All he cares about is destroying God’s creations, and we ignorantly help him out. Yeah, I’d like to help him out, right out of our world; however we are stuck with him and all his excrement!
Matthew 18:7"Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!
Woe to world, true that! Thanks for the warning Father! I don’t blame you though; I would throw my children out of my house if they disrespected me like Yours did! To know You so intimately and understand how the household runs, and then to spit on all You have provided… yeah, if I pulled that with my parents I am sure they would have kicked me out of their house as well! This is not what I am speaking of though! I am speaking of what I have learned. I spend a lot of time trying to understand the book of Revelations. I try to discern what trumpet is next to sound, what seals are left to be opened and where exactly we are in the End Time, don’t think we are not in the end time, we are! Satan was only given a short time to prove his point.
Revelation 12:12
“…woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short."
If you don’t believe what you read here, well, you can always pick up the Bible and read it yourself. I am just sharing my thoughts and looking for like minded people to fellowship with…and educate those who are sitting on the fence or thinking they have more time! Either you are for God or you are against Him.
James 4:4Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
So, I am in Revelations and praying for understanding and enlightenment. I then read a passage and scratch my head and ponder the “How?” If you are aware of the # of the beast, and come on now, everyone should be aware of that in America! Iron Maiden helped with that!
Revelation 13:7-18
7 It was granted to him to make war with the saints and to overcome them. And authority was given him over every tribe, tongue, and nation. 8 All who dwell on the earth will worship him, whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. 9 If anyone has an ear, let him hear. 10 He who leads into captivity shall go into captivity; he who kills with the sword must be killed with the sword. Here is the patience and the faith of the saints.
The Beast from the Earth
11 Then I saw another beast coming up out of the earth, and he had two horns like a lamb and spoke like a dragon. 12 And he exercises all the authority of the first beast in his presence, and causes the earth and those who dwell in it to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed. 13 He performs great signs, so that he even makes fire come down from heaven on the earth in the sight of men. 14 And he deceives those who dwell on the earth by those signs which he was granted to do in the sight of the beast, telling those who dwell on the earth to make an image to the beast who was wounded by the sword and lived. 15 He was granted power to give breath to the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak and cause as many as would not worship the image of the beast to be killed. 16 He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, 17 and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. 18 Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.
…whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. 9 If anyone has an ear, let him hear. I don’t know about you, however I pray and plead forgiveness for all my sins and ask Father Yahweh to allow me to stand before Him washed in the precious blood of Yahushua or Yahshua…Jesus however you refer to our redeemer! I pray for the strength to be able NOT to receive the Mark of the Beast. I know what that is now! I understand who Babylon the great is…it is the United States of America who is run by the Federal Reserve, which by the way has nothing to do with the federal government so why we are paying a federal tax…watch the movie!
Revelation 18
The Fall of Babylon the Great
1 After these things I saw another angel coming down from heaven, having great authority, and the earth was illuminated with his glory. 2 And he cried mightily with a loud voice, saying, “Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and has become a dwelling place of demons, a prison for every foul spirit, and a cage for every unclean and hated bird! 3 For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth have become rich through the abundance of her luxury.”4 And I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. 5 For her sins have reached to heaven, and God has remembered her iniquities. 6 Render to her just as she rendered to you,and repay her double according to her works; in the cup which she has mixed, mix double for her. 7 In the measure that she glorified herself and lived luxuriously, in the same measure give her torment and sorrow; for she says in her heart, ‘I sit as queen, and am no widow, and will not see sorrow.’ 8 Therefore her plagues will come in one day—death and mourning and famine. And she will be utterly burned with fire, for strong is the Lord God who judges her.
The World Mourns Babylon’s Fall
9 “The kings of the earth who committed fornication and lived luxuriously with her will weep and lament for her, when they see the smoke of her burning, 10 standing at a distance for fear of her torment, saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! For in one hour your judgment has come.’ 11 “And the merchants of the earth will weep and mourn over her, for no one buys their merchandise anymore: 12 merchandise of gold and silver, precious stones and pearls, fine linen and purple, silk and scarlet, every kind of citron wood, every kind of object of ivory, every kind of object of most precious wood, bronze, iron, and marble; 13 and cinnamon and incense, fragrant oil and frankincense, wine and oil, fine flour and wheat, cattle and sheep, horses and chariots, and bodies and souls of men. 14 The fruit that your soul longed for has gone from you, and all the things which are rich and splendid have gone from you, and you shall find them no more at all. 15 The merchants of these things, who became rich by her, will stand at a distance for fear of her torment, weeping and wailing, 16 and saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city that was clothed in fine linen, purple, and scarlet, and adorned with gold and precious stones and pearls! 17 For in one hour such great riches came to nothing.’ Every shipmaster, all who travel by ship, sailors, and as many as trade on the sea, stood at a distance 18 and cried out when they saw the smoke of her burning, saying, ‘What is like this great city?’ 19 “They threw dust on their heads and cried out, weeping and wailing, and saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city, in which all who had ships on the sea became rich by her wealth! For in one hour she is made desolate.’ 20 “Rejoice over her, O heaven, and you holy apostles and prophets, for God has avenged you on her!”
Finality of Babylon’s Fall
21 Then a mighty angel took up a stone like a great millstone and threw it into the sea, saying, “Thus with violence the great city Babylon shall be thrown down, and shall not be found anymore. 22 The sound of harpists, musicians, flutists, and trumpeters shall not be heard in you anymore. No craftsman of any craft shall be found in you anymore, and the sound of a millstone shall not be heard in you anymore. 23 The light of a lamp shall not shine in you anymore, and the voice of bridegroom and bride shall not be heard in you anymore. For your merchants were the great men of the earth, for by your sorcery all the nations were deceived. 24 And in her was found the blood of prophets and saints, and of all who were slain on the earth.”
Not only do I understand revelations better now, I also am noticing the warning The Father is giving: 3 For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth have become rich through the abundance of her luxury.” Now you know the US is the most powerful country in the world, which would be because the founders of this great country secured that position. The World Trade Center is housed in NYC, New York and believe me the merchants of the earth have and still are getting rich through the luxury provided by the US!4 And I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. 5 For her sins have reached to heaven, and God has remembered her iniquities. 6 Render to her just as she rendered to you, and repay her double according to her works; in the cup which she has mixed, mix double for her. 7 In the measure that she glorified herself and lived luxuriously, in the same measure give her torment and sorrow; for she says in her heart, ‘I sit as queen, and am no widow, and will not see sorrow.’
We see sorrow now, but why? Oh, I remember! The Federal Reserve! That’s right! What did Father God say? I’ll use the New King James Version and I am going to put in the search box~ the root of all evil:
Malachi 4:1[ The Day of the LORD ] "Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire," says the LORD Almighty. "Not a root or a branch will be left to them.”1 Timothy 6:10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
Where the heck is she going with all this, don’t get your panties in a bunch! You know I always tie things up! I have to agree with Paton or was it Douglas’ quote: absolute power corrupts absolutely… which is what Satan is all about. He is trying to prove he is more powerful than the Creator. He wants to prove that he can do the same as Father God. (Yeah what The Father accomplished in six days is taking Lucifer 666 zillion-zillion days…you know what I mean… Lucifer is never going to pull it off, us poor slobs. All because we are not to worship angels and that is what Lucifer wants so badly! To be worshipped and not just as a god but as God! What a jerk! Yo! Luce! How can you be greater than He that created you? You were not created to rule the world and receive worship… granted The Father GAVE you the world, but you are never going to be able to make it into a paradise. You aren’t even going to be around for all eternity to see how the Father does it. No second chance for you! Thank You Father for giving all humans a second chance. Thank You for the instruction manual. My free will. Most of all, I thank You for the sacrifice of Your beloved son! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!)
Back to the number of the beast! People did you know that, due to terrorism; which if you have watched the movie you know is all sponsored by the Federal Reserve for the purpose of a eventual One World System; (Oh Lucifer you are a clever puppeteer, using money and power…ahh… woe to us for sure.) that Congress passed the REAL ID Act of 2005? Well, they did!
http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d109:HR00418:
H.R.418 Title: To establish and rapidly implement regulations for State driver's license and identification document security standards, to prevent terrorists from abusing the asylum laws of the United States, to unify terrorism-related grounds for inadmissibility and removal, and to ensure expeditious construction of the San Diego border fence.
Why are they targeting driver’s licenses? Most Americans have one as do terrorist and one of the amendments on the REAL ID Act of 2005 is:
Amendment requires the Department of Homeland Security to enter into the appropriate aviation security screening database any person convicted of using a false driver's license in attempting to board an airplane. (A002)
I personally disagree, anyone A N Y O N E at the airport with a false driver’s license should be entered into the database. Just because they have been lucky in the past and haven’t been convicted, shouldn't give them a free pass! Anyone with a false driver’s license is a liar and untrustworthy and certainly should not be at the airport messing with my peace of mind or yours for that matter! Then it dawns on me! My driver’s license has one of those lovely swipe bars on the back of it. Hell’s Bells! Look what I found!
Who is distributing RFID enabled technology?
All major credit cards:
Visa (Contactless)
MasterCard (PayPass)
American Express (ExpressPay)
All state drivers licenses:US government (REAL ID Act of 2005)
All passports and visas:US government (REAL ID Act of 2005)
Electronic Road Toll devices:Delaware, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Virginia (E-ZPass), Texas (TollTag and EZ TAG), California (FasTrak), Florida (SunPass) Oklahoma (PikePass), Minnesota (MnPass)
"Fast-pay" key tags and car tags: ExxonMobile (SpeedPass)
http://www.emvelope.com/information is the direct link!
The mark of the beast! Oh, and now they are introducing a chip, just like for your pet, so you can be located and found and all your information will be ready available for those who want it. Excuse me? Wait? If If I am a bad dog what will happen to me? You'll detonate the chip and do away with me? Or worse! Turn it off and leave me without a means to function in society. I won't be able to buy food or drink. If my chip isn't working will they think me dead, and delete me from the system? I will be working, but my bank will have closed my account due to my death. The bank computer as well as The DMV will have reported my death to my employer and therefore my clearance will be revoked... In order to function in Satan's system of things I would have to willingly go to the government and have them reactivate or give me a new chip! I am not alone in this! You will have to get in line too! I hope this information is making angry and you are sharing this righteous indignation I am feeling! Are you picking up what I am putting down? We are being used by the privileged and elite of America. We work four months a year to help them keep us hard working people down. We are the elites slaves!
I am going to stop here and go watch the rest of the Zeitgeist - The Movie I pray they will tell me how to fight this invasion of privacy as well as my rights. Just knowing that I work four months of the year to support The Federal Reserve who controls the government... and there is no law that states I have to pay Federal Taxes, grrrrr! What the French Toast! How mind controlled we are! We have to wake up people, not just Americans but everyone! We need to learn how to fight Satan and then share it with each other. If I learn anything I will come back and share. If you don’t hear from me again…know that I must have been on to something and that is why I am now dead!
Zeitgeist - The Movie
Matthew 4
8…the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."
10Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.
Shabbat Shalom:
It is Sabbath, Saturday July 19, 2008 and have just found Satan’s tool for
bringing the world and have just found Satan’s tool for, watch it yourself just copy and paste the following in to the YouTube search window and get educated!
Zeitgeist - The Movie: Federal Reserve
I have always made myself aware of the enemy and if you have read any of my other writings you know I have no sympathy for the devil. He hates us! All he cares about is destroying God’s creations, and we ignorantly help him out. Yeah, I’d like to help him out, right out of our world; however we are stuck with him and all his excrement!
Matthew 18:7"Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!
Woe to world, true that! Thanks for the warning Father! I don’t blame you though; I would throw my children out of my house if they disrespected me like Yours did! To know You so intimately and understand how the household runs, and then to spit on all You have provided… yeah, if I pulled that with my parents I am sure they would have kicked me out of their house as well! This is not what I am speaking of though! I am speaking of what I have learned. I spend a lot of time trying to understand the book of Revelations. I try to discern what trumpet is next to sound, what seals are left to be opened and where exactly we are in the End Time, don’t think we are not in the end time, we are! Satan was only given a short time to prove his point.
Revelation 12:12
“…woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short."
If you don’t believe what you read here, well, you can always pick up the Bible and read it yourself. I am just sharing my thoughts and looking for like minded people to fellowship with…and educate those who are sitting on the fence or thinking they have more time! Either you are for God or you are against Him.
James 4:4Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
So, I am in Revelations and praying for understanding and enlightenment. I then read a passage and scratch my head and ponder the “How?” If you are aware of the # of the beast, and come on now, everyone should be aware of that in America! Iron Maiden helped with that!
Revelation 13:7-18
7 It was granted to him to make war with the saints and to overcome them. And authority was given him over every tribe, tongue, and nation. 8 All who dwell on the earth will worship him, whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. 9 If anyone has an ear, let him hear. 10 He who leads into captivity shall go into captivity; he who kills with the sword must be killed with the sword. Here is the patience and the faith of the saints.
The Beast from the Earth
11 Then I saw another beast coming up out of the earth, and he had two horns like a lamb and spoke like a dragon. 12 And he exercises all the authority of the first beast in his presence, and causes the earth and those who dwell in it to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed. 13 He performs great signs, so that he even makes fire come down from heaven on the earth in the sight of men. 14 And he deceives those who dwell on the earth by those signs which he was granted to do in the sight of the beast, telling those who dwell on the earth to make an image to the beast who was wounded by the sword and lived. 15 He was granted power to give breath to the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak and cause as many as would not worship the image of the beast to be killed. 16 He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, 17 and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. 18 Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.
…whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. 9 If anyone has an ear, let him hear. I don’t know about you, however I pray and plead forgiveness for all my sins and ask Father Yahweh to allow me to stand before Him washed in the precious blood of Yahushua or Yashua…Jesus however you refer to our redeemer! I pray for the strength to be able NOT to receive the Mark of the Beast. I know what that is now! I understand who Babylon the great is…it is the United States of America who is run by the Federal Reserve, which by the way has nothing to do with the federal government so why we are paying a federal tax…watch the movie!
Revelation 18
The Fall of Babylon the Great
1 After these things I saw another angel coming down from heaven, having great authority, and the earth was illuminated with his glory. 2 And he cried mightily with a loud voice, saying, “Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and has become a dwelling place of demons, a prison for every foul spirit, and a cage for every unclean and hated bird! 3 For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth have become rich through the abundance of her luxury.”4 And I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. 5 For her sins have reached to heaven, and God has remembered her iniquities. 6 Render to her just as she rendered to you,and repay her double according to her works; in the cup which she has mixed, mix double for her. 7 In the measure that she glorified herself and lived luxuriously, in the same measure give her torment and sorrow; for she says in her heart, ‘I sit as queen, and am no widow, and will not see sorrow.’ 8 Therefore her plagues will come in one day—death and mourning and famine. And she will be utterly burned with fire, for strong is the Lord God who judges her.
The World Mourns Babylon’s Fall
9 “The kings of the earth who committed fornication and lived luxuriously with her will weep and lament for her, when they see the smoke of her burning, 10 standing at a distance for fear of her torment, saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! For in one hour your judgment has come.’ 11 “And the merchants of the earth will weep and mourn over her, for no one buys their merchandise anymore: 12 merchandise of gold and silver, precious stones and pearls, fine linen and purple, silk and scarlet, every kind of citron wood, every kind of object of ivory, every kind of object of most precious wood, bronze, iron, and marble; 13 and cinnamon and incense, fragrant oil and frankincense, wine and oil, fine flour and wheat, cattle and sheep, horses and chariots, and bodies and souls of men. 14 The fruit that your soul longed for has gone from you, and all the things which are rich and splendid have gone from you, and you shall find them no more at all. 15 The merchants of these things, who became rich by her, will stand at a distance for fear of her torment, weeping and wailing, 16 and saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city that was clothed in fine linen, purple, and scarlet, and adorned with gold and precious stones and pearls! 17 For in one hour such great riches came to nothing.’ Every shipmaster, all who travel by ship, sailors, and as many as trade on the sea, stood at a distance 18 and cried out when they saw the smoke of her burning, saying, ‘What is like this great city?’ 19 “They threw dust on their heads and cried out, weeping and wailing, and saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city, in which all who had ships on the sea became rich by her wealth! For in one hour she is made desolate.’ 20 “Rejoice over her, O heaven, and you holy apostles and prophets, for God has avenged you on her!”
Finality of Babylon’s Fall
21 Then a mighty angel took up a stone like a great millstone and threw it into the sea, saying, “Thus with violence the great city Babylon shall be thrown down, and shall not be found anymore. 22 The sound of harpists, musicians, flutists, and trumpeters shall not be heard in you anymore. No craftsman of any craft shall be found in you anymore, and the sound of a millstone shall not be heard in you anymore. 23 The light of a lamp shall not shine in you anymore, and the voice of bridegroom and bride shall not be heard in you anymore. For your merchants were the great men of the earth, for by your sorcery all the nations were deceived. 24 And in her was found the blood of prophets and saints, and of all who were slain on the earth.”
Not only do I understand revelations better now, I also am noticing the warning The Father is giving: 3 For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth have become rich through the abundance of her luxury.” Now you know the US is the most powerful country in the world, which would be because the founders of this great country secured that position. The World Trade Center is housed in NYC, New York and believe me the merchants of the earth have and still are getting rich through the luxury provided by the US!4 And I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. 5 For her sins have reached to heaven, and God has remembered her iniquities. 6 Render to her just as she rendered to you, and repay her double according to her works; in the cup which she has mixed, mix double for her. 7 In the measure that she glorified herself and lived luxuriously, in the same measure give her torment and sorrow; for she says in her heart, ‘I sit as queen, and am no widow, and will not see sorrow.’
We see sorrow now, but why? Oh, I remember! The Federal Reserve! That’s right! What did Father God say? I’ll use the New King James Version and I am going to put in the search box~ the root of all evil:
Malachi 4:1[ The Day of the LORD ] "Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire," says the LORD Almighty. "Not a root or a branch will be left to them.”1 Timothy 6:10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
Where the heck is she going with all this, don’t get your panties in a bunch! You know I always tie things up! I have to agree with Paton or was it Douglas’ quote: absolute power corrupts absolutely… which is what Satan is all about. He is trying to prove he is more powerful than the Creator. He wants to prove that he can do the same as Father God. (Yeah what The Father accomplished in six days is taking Lucifer 666 zillion-zillion days…you know what I mean… Lucifer is never going to pull it off, us poor slobs. All because we are not to worship angels and that is what Lucifer wants so badly! To be worshipped and not just as a god but as God! What a jerk! Yo! Luce! How can you be greater than He that created you? You were not created to rule the world and receive worship… granted The Father GAVE you the world, but you are never going to be able to make it into a paradise. You aren’t even going to be around for all eternity to see how the Father does it. No second chance for you! Thank You Father for giving all humans a second chance. Thank You for the instruction manual. My free will. Most of all, I thank You for the sacrifice of Your beloved son! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!)
Back to the number of the beast! People did you know that, due to terrorism; which if you have watched the movie you know is all sponsored by the Federal Reserve for the purpose of a eventual One World System; (Oh Lucifer you are a clever puppeteer, using money and power…ahh… woe to us for sure.) that Congress passed the REAL ID Act of 2005? Well, they did!
http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d109:HR00418:
H.R.418 Title: To establish and rapidly implement regulations for State driver's license and identification document security standards, to prevent terrorists from abusing the asylum laws of the United States, to unify terrorism-related grounds for inadmissibility and removal, and to ensure expeditious construction of the San Diego border fence.
Why are they targeting driver’s licenses? Most Americans have one as do terrorist and one of the amendments on the REAL ID Act of 2005 is:
Amendment requires the Department of Homeland Security to enter into the appropriate aviation security screening database any person convicted of using a false driver's license in attempting to board an airplane. (A002)
I personally disagree, anyone A N Y O N E at the airport with a false driver’s license should be entered into the database. Just because they have been lucky in the past and haven’t been convicted, shouldn’t give them a free pass! Anyone with a false driver’s license is a liar and untrustworthy and certainly should not be at the airport messing with my peace of mind or yours for that matter! Then it dawns on me! My driver’s license has one of those lovely swipe bars on the back of it. Hell’s Bells! Look what I found!
Who is distributing RFID enabled technology?
All major credit cards:
Visa (Contactless)
MasterCard (PayPass)
American Express (ExpressPay)
All state drivers licenses:US government (REAL ID Act of 2005)
All passports and visas:US government (REAL ID Act of 2005)
Electronic Road Toll devices:Delaware, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Virginia (E-ZPass), Texas (TollTag and EZ TAG), California (FasTrak), Florida (SunPass) Oklahoma (PikePass), Minnesota (MnPass)
"Fast-pay" key tags and car tags: ExxonMobile (SpeedPass)
http://www.emvelope.com/information is the direct link!
I hope you are getting angry. That is righteous indignation you are feeling, or should be feeling! Are you picking up what I am putting down? We are being used by the privileged and elite of America. We work four months a year to help them keep us hard working people down.
I am going to stop here and go watch the rest of the Zeitgeist - The Movie I pray they will tell me how to fight this invasion of privacy as well as my rights. Just knowing that I work four months of the year to support The Federal Reserve who controls the government and yet there is no law that states I have to pay Federal Taxes, grrrrr! That enough for me to dedicate my time in learning how to fight Satan. If I learn anything I will come back and share. If you don’t hear from me again…know that I must have been on to something and that is why I am now dead!
8…the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. 9"All this I will give you," he said, "if you will bow down and worship me."
10Jesus said to him, "Away from me, Satan! For it is written: 'Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.
Shabbat Shalom:
It is Sabbath, Saturday July 19, 2008 and have just found Satan’s tool for
bringing the world and have just found Satan’s tool for, watch it yourself just copy and paste the following in to the YouTube search window and get educated!
Zeitgeist - The Movie: Federal Reserve
I have always made myself aware of the enemy and if you have read any of my other writings you know I have no sympathy for the devil. He hates us! All he cares about is destroying God’s creations, and we ignorantly help him out. Yeah, I’d like to help him out, right out of our world; however we are stuck with him and all his excrement!
Matthew 18:7"Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!
Woe to world, true that! Thanks for the warning Father! I don’t blame you though; I would throw my children out of my house if they disrespected me like Yours did! To know You so intimately and understand how the household runs, and then to spit on all You have provided… yeah, if I pulled that with my parents I am sure they would have kicked me out of their house as well! This is not what I am speaking of though! I am speaking of what I have learned. I spend a lot of time trying to understand the book of Revelations. I try to discern what trumpet is next to sound, what seals are left to be opened and where exactly we are in the End Time, don’t think we are not in the end time, we are! Satan was only given a short time to prove his point.
Revelation 12:12
“…woe to the earth and the sea, because the devil has gone down to you! He is filled with fury, because he knows that his time is short."
If you don’t believe what you read here, well, you can always pick up the Bible and read it yourself. I am just sharing my thoughts and looking for like minded people to fellowship with…and educate those who are sitting on the fence or thinking they have more time! Either you are for God or you are against Him.
James 4:4Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
So, I am in Revelations and praying for understanding and enlightenment. I then read a passage and scratch my head and ponder the “How?” If you are aware of the # of the beast, and come on now, everyone should be aware of that in America! Iron Maiden helped with that!
Revelation 13:7-18
7 It was granted to him to make war with the saints and to overcome them. And authority was given him over every tribe, tongue, and nation. 8 All who dwell on the earth will worship him, whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. 9 If anyone has an ear, let him hear. 10 He who leads into captivity shall go into captivity; he who kills with the sword must be killed with the sword. Here is the patience and the faith of the saints.
The Beast from the Earth
11 Then I saw another beast coming up out of the earth, and he had two horns like a lamb and spoke like a dragon. 12 And he exercises all the authority of the first beast in his presence, and causes the earth and those who dwell in it to worship the first beast, whose deadly wound was healed. 13 He performs great signs, so that he even makes fire come down from heaven on the earth in the sight of men. 14 And he deceives those who dwell on the earth by those signs which he was granted to do in the sight of the beast, telling those who dwell on the earth to make an image to the beast who was wounded by the sword and lived. 15 He was granted power to give breath to the image of the beast, that the image of the beast should both speak and cause as many as would not worship the image of the beast to be killed. 16 He causes all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on their right hand or on their foreheads, 17 and that no one may buy or sell except one who has the mark or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. 18 Here is wisdom. Let him who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man: His number is 666.
…whose names have not been written in the Book of Life of the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world. 9 If anyone has an ear, let him hear. I don’t know about you, however I pray and plead forgiveness for all my sins and ask Father Yahweh to allow me to stand before Him washed in the precious blood of Yahushua or Yashua…Jesus however you refer to our redeemer! I pray for the strength to be able NOT to receive the Mark of the Beast. I know what that is now! I understand who Babylon the great is…it is the United States of America who is run by the Federal Reserve, which by the way has nothing to do with the federal government so why we are paying a federal tax…watch the movie!
Revelation 18
The Fall of Babylon the Great
1 After these things I saw another angel coming down from heaven, having great authority, and the earth was illuminated with his glory. 2 And he cried mightily with a loud voice, saying, “Babylon the great is fallen, is fallen, and has become a dwelling place of demons, a prison for every foul spirit, and a cage for every unclean and hated bird! 3 For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth have become rich through the abundance of her luxury.”4 And I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. 5 For her sins have reached to heaven, and God has remembered her iniquities. 6 Render to her just as she rendered to you,and repay her double according to her works; in the cup which she has mixed, mix double for her. 7 In the measure that she glorified herself and lived luxuriously, in the same measure give her torment and sorrow; for she says in her heart, ‘I sit as queen, and am no widow, and will not see sorrow.’ 8 Therefore her plagues will come in one day—death and mourning and famine. And she will be utterly burned with fire, for strong is the Lord God who judges her.
The World Mourns Babylon’s Fall
9 “The kings of the earth who committed fornication and lived luxuriously with her will weep and lament for her, when they see the smoke of her burning, 10 standing at a distance for fear of her torment, saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city Babylon, that mighty city! For in one hour your judgment has come.’ 11 “And the merchants of the earth will weep and mourn over her, for no one buys their merchandise anymore: 12 merchandise of gold and silver, precious stones and pearls, fine linen and purple, silk and scarlet, every kind of citron wood, every kind of object of ivory, every kind of object of most precious wood, bronze, iron, and marble; 13 and cinnamon and incense, fragrant oil and frankincense, wine and oil, fine flour and wheat, cattle and sheep, horses and chariots, and bodies and souls of men. 14 The fruit that your soul longed for has gone from you, and all the things which are rich and splendid have gone from you, and you shall find them no more at all. 15 The merchants of these things, who became rich by her, will stand at a distance for fear of her torment, weeping and wailing, 16 and saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city that was clothed in fine linen, purple, and scarlet, and adorned with gold and precious stones and pearls! 17 For in one hour such great riches came to nothing.’ Every shipmaster, all who travel by ship, sailors, and as many as trade on the sea, stood at a distance 18 and cried out when they saw the smoke of her burning, saying, ‘What is like this great city?’ 19 “They threw dust on their heads and cried out, weeping and wailing, and saying, ‘Alas, alas, that great city, in which all who had ships on the sea became rich by her wealth! For in one hour she is made desolate.’ 20 “Rejoice over her, O heaven, and you holy apostles and prophets, for God has avenged you on her!”
Finality of Babylon’s Fall
21 Then a mighty angel took up a stone like a great millstone and threw it into the sea, saying, “Thus with violence the great city Babylon shall be thrown down, and shall not be found anymore. 22 The sound of harpists, musicians, flutists, and trumpeters shall not be heard in you anymore. No craftsman of any craft shall be found in you anymore, and the sound of a millstone shall not be heard in you anymore. 23 The light of a lamp shall not shine in you anymore, and the voice of bridegroom and bride shall not be heard in you anymore. For your merchants were the great men of the earth, for by your sorcery all the nations were deceived. 24 And in her was found the blood of prophets and saints, and of all who were slain on the earth.”
Not only do I understand revelations better now, I also am noticing the warning The Father is giving: 3 For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the wrath of her fornication, the kings of the earth have committed fornication with her, and the merchants of the earth have become rich through the abundance of her luxury.” Now you know the US is the most powerful country in the world, which would be because the founders of this great country secured that position. The World Trade Center is housed in NYC, New York and believe me the merchants of the earth have and still are getting rich through the luxury provided by the US!4 And I heard another voice from heaven saying, “Come out of her, my people, lest you share in her sins, and lest you receive of her plagues. 5 For her sins have reached to heaven, and God has remembered her iniquities. 6 Render to her just as she rendered to you, and repay her double according to her works; in the cup which she has mixed, mix double for her. 7 In the measure that she glorified herself and lived luxuriously, in the same measure give her torment and sorrow; for she says in her heart, ‘I sit as queen, and am no widow, and will not see sorrow.’
We see sorrow now, but why? Oh, I remember! The Federal Reserve! That’s right! What did Father God say? I’ll use the New King James Version and I am going to put in the search box~ the root of all evil:
Malachi 4:1[ The Day of the LORD ] "Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and that day that is coming will set them on fire," says the LORD Almighty. "Not a root or a branch will be left to them.”1 Timothy 6:10For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.
Where the heck is she going with all this, don’t get your panties in a bunch! You know I always tie things up! I have to agree with Paton or was it Douglas’ quote: absolute power corrupts absolutely… which is what Satan is all about. He is trying to prove he is more powerful than the Creator. He wants to prove that he can do the same as Father God. (Yeah what The Father accomplished in six days is taking Lucifer 666 zillion-zillion days…you know what I mean… Lucifer is never going to pull it off, us poor slobs. All because we are not to worship angels and that is what Lucifer wants so badly! To be worshipped and not just as a god but as God! What a jerk! Yo! Luce! How can you be greater than He that created you? You were not created to rule the world and receive worship… granted The Father GAVE you the world, but you are never going to be able to make it into a paradise. You aren’t even going to be around for all eternity to see how the Father does it. No second chance for you! Thank You Father for giving all humans a second chance. Thank You for the instruction manual. My free will. Most of all, I thank You for the sacrifice of Your beloved son! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!)
Back to the number of the beast! People did you know that, due to terrorism; which if you have watched the movie you know is all sponsored by the Federal Reserve for the purpose of a eventual One World System; (Oh Lucifer you are a clever puppeteer, using money and power…ahh… woe to us for sure.) that Congress passed the REAL ID Act of 2005? Well, they did!
http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/z?d109:HR00418:
H.R.418 Title: To establish and rapidly implement regulations for State driver's license and identification document security standards, to prevent terrorists from abusing the asylum laws of the United States, to unify terrorism-related grounds for inadmissibility and removal, and to ensure expeditious construction of the San Diego border fence.
Why are they targeting driver’s licenses? Most Americans have one as do terrorist and one of the amendments on the REAL ID Act of 2005 is:
Amendment requires the Department of Homeland Security to enter into the appropriate aviation security screening database any person convicted of using a false driver's license in attempting to board an airplane. (A002)
I personally disagree, anyone A N Y O N E at the airport with a false driver’s license should be entered into the database. Just because they have been lucky in the past and haven’t been convicted, shouldn’t give them a free pass! Anyone with a false driver’s license is a liar and untrustworthy and certainly should not be at the airport messing with my peace of mind or yours for that matter! Then it dawns on me! My driver’s license has one of those lovely swipe bars on the back of it. Hell’s Bells! Look what I found!
Who is distributing RFID enabled technology?
All major credit cards:
Visa (Contactless)
MasterCard (PayPass)
American Express (ExpressPay)
All state drivers licenses:US government (REAL ID Act of 2005)
All passports and visas:US government (REAL ID Act of 2005)
Electronic Road Toll devices:Delaware, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Virginia (E-ZPass), Texas (TollTag and EZ TAG), California (FasTrak), Florida (SunPass) Oklahoma (PikePass), Minnesota (MnPass)
"Fast-pay" key tags and car tags: ExxonMobile (SpeedPass)
http://www.emvelope.com/information is the direct link!
I hope you are getting angry. That is righteous indignation you are feeling, or should be feeling! Are you picking up what I am putting down? We are being used by the privileged and elite of America. We work four months a year to help them keep us hard working people down.
I am going to stop here and go watch the rest of the Zeitgeist - The Movie I pray they will tell me how to fight this invasion of privacy as well as my rights. Just knowing that I work four months of the year to support The Federal Reserve who controls the government and yet there is no law that states I have to pay Federal Taxes, grrrrr! That enough for me to dedicate my time in learning how to fight Satan. If I learn anything I will come back and share. If you don’t hear from me again…know that I must have been on to something and that is why I am now dead!
What is your take on why we are here?
As I sit and contemplate the Sabbath and the meaning of it all, I have the TV on and am listening to the Travel Channel tell all about Yellow Stone Park. I look up now and then to the most spectacular scenes. That’s when it reaffirms what I have already stated. Yahweh is The Artist and humans make a mockery of his creation. Albeit that the highest form of flattery is imitation, why bother when you can look out a window or take a walk in the out of doors?
It is so breath taking to be blessed with a viewing of the suns fall to slumber. The Father is The Master and the suns gentle descent into the blue gives the horizon a beautiful blend of colors. Like crayon pieces melted into a warm glow of yellows, oranges and reds. No matter how often I look or try to find just that shade of color in the world to mimic that masterful color, my favorite color, I have yet to find it. So I look forward to sun rise, to get a glimpse of the most beautiful color ever created. HalleluYah! Praise Yahweh. What a creation, most beautiful… wait! The moon is rising oh and it’s a full moon too! Here come those shades of blue that just thrill you as they dim and fall into shadows. Changing the landscape and bringing out creatures of the night. Great here comes the “‘skeeters”, I hate mosquitoes, grrrrrrr. Oh no problem, here comes the bats. Yes, the Father did have it all planned out now didn’t He?
Yes Jewels is in Spiritual Mode. I can’t help it, don’t want to help it and make no mistakes about it, I am happy with it. I don’t apologize either. I know why I am here…Do you?
If you are still asking the question, “What’s “It” all about?” “Why are we here?” And you haven’t accepted the fact it’s been all planned and you are a character in a role that was created for you called Life; YOU need to wake up! Come on think about it, NO really think about it. Why are we here? What’s the point? What comes next? Why do we have five fingers and five toes? How were we made, who made us? Who was first and who were we made for exactly? What is our function in all of this? WHY?
There is only one clear conclusion. We were created and we have an instruction manual. Come on! We were made in his image! When we create we give directions! How To Books are written on everything. We give directions to others on how we are raising our children and instruct them on how to interact with our children. For instance, growing up my children weren’t allowed to drink a lot of soda. Soda was a treat as was candy. Everyone who needed to know… knew this. Diaper rash remedies as well as family recipes were handed down and shared. I’m sure your family is the same. Now what makes you think our creator didn’t have an instruction manual for on how we are to operate too? He did you know, it is call the Bible!
I have been studying and reading and searching for the truth. I pray, worship, and search the net for it. The more I search the more I am brought to Yahweh The Elohim, Yahshua The Savior and the Holy Spirit. You may know them as God The Father, God The Son and God the Holy Ghost. Perhap Jesus rings a bell? If you research the names on the net, you’ll come to this conclusion too!
If not for The Creator, then what? What is your take on why we are here?
It is so breath taking to be blessed with a viewing of the suns fall to slumber. The Father is The Master and the suns gentle descent into the blue gives the horizon a beautiful blend of colors. Like crayon pieces melted into a warm glow of yellows, oranges and reds. No matter how often I look or try to find just that shade of color in the world to mimic that masterful color, my favorite color, I have yet to find it. So I look forward to sun rise, to get a glimpse of the most beautiful color ever created. HalleluYah! Praise Yahweh. What a creation, most beautiful… wait! The moon is rising oh and it’s a full moon too! Here come those shades of blue that just thrill you as they dim and fall into shadows. Changing the landscape and bringing out creatures of the night. Great here comes the “‘skeeters”, I hate mosquitoes, grrrrrrr. Oh no problem, here comes the bats. Yes, the Father did have it all planned out now didn’t He?
Yes Jewels is in Spiritual Mode. I can’t help it, don’t want to help it and make no mistakes about it, I am happy with it. I don’t apologize either. I know why I am here…Do you?
If you are still asking the question, “What’s “It” all about?” “Why are we here?” And you haven’t accepted the fact it’s been all planned and you are a character in a role that was created for you called Life; YOU need to wake up! Come on think about it, NO really think about it. Why are we here? What’s the point? What comes next? Why do we have five fingers and five toes? How were we made, who made us? Who was first and who were we made for exactly? What is our function in all of this? WHY?
There is only one clear conclusion. We were created and we have an instruction manual. Come on! We were made in his image! When we create we give directions! How To Books are written on everything. We give directions to others on how we are raising our children and instruct them on how to interact with our children. For instance, growing up my children weren’t allowed to drink a lot of soda. Soda was a treat as was candy. Everyone who needed to know… knew this. Diaper rash remedies as well as family recipes were handed down and shared. I’m sure your family is the same. Now what makes you think our creator didn’t have an instruction manual for on how we are to operate too? He did you know, it is call the Bible!
I have been studying and reading and searching for the truth. I pray, worship, and search the net for it. The more I search the more I am brought to Yahweh The Elohim, Yahshua The Savior and the Holy Spirit. You may know them as God The Father, God The Son and God the Holy Ghost. Perhap Jesus rings a bell? If you research the names on the net, you’ll come to this conclusion too!
If not for The Creator, then what? What is your take on why we are here?
Talk about a double standard marriage! Or maybe I should entitle this: What a stupid woman I am!
Marriage, per the Encarta Dictionary on line, English version, is:
a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious
ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners.
2. a married relationship between two people, or a somebody’s relationship
with his or her spouse.
3. the joining together in wedlock of two people
the ceremony in which two people are joined together formally in wedlock.
a close union, blend, or mixture of two things.
Wedlock: the state of being married
Nuptial: relating to marriage or weddings
Wedding: a ceremony in which two people get married * the bringing together of two individuals uniting of two things (in this case people)
Okay, so reading the Encarta my interpretation of Married:
Two people who are completely dedicated to one another that willingly devote a lot of time and effort to living their lives united and blended as one.
Loyalty is key as well. Standing by your man, but he has to be A Man! A man is a person of male gender who has a code of honor and lives by that code. He is a provider, protector, and lover. A stand up guy who knows how to be there and be everything his mate needs and wants. He follows through and believes in himself because he believes in the relationship and the woman he is devoted to. He believes his worth because he knows the woman he loves and adores respects and trusts him to take care of her and hers. He knows she will be what ever he wants and give him whatever he needs. Be his everything… anything.
When a man is allowed to be who he is, is liked for who he is and isn’t expected to change he should be appreciative of his mate, no? If his family and friends are counted as her friends and family and all are accepted as they are, just treated as individuals with respect and kindness, then that man should be appreciative that his woman isn’t trying to get rid of his support system of loved ones. You have managed to get rid of her support system and don’t have to deal with any of her old school mates or family. Only on holidays and birthdays. Wait, she says you don’t have to go to the family holiday dinners? You can do whatever you want? You are thinking, “No such woman exists!” You say she never says no sexually and was willing to satisfy you however you wanted. You would think if such a woman existed a man would be appreciative of his wife, wouldn't you? He isn’t forced to go to church or believe any religious mumbo jumbo and isn’t forced to work two jobs, the wife is willing to work…wouldn’t you think she was an ok wife? Now, maybe the house isn’t as clean as you would like it, however, she doesn’t nag and complain when you want to go hunting, fishing, bowling, or over to your friends house to watch the game. You want a couple of snakes, a lizard or two, a tarantula, dogs, cats, rabbits hell, you can even add a duck to the mix! Just keep in mind, the house IS NOT going to be spotless with five people and this zoo going on! Especially if she works, some times three jobs. She is the one to run the kids around. He doesn’t have to worry about trips to the doctors or going to parent teacher conferences, he get’s to do the fun stuff like going to the kid’s concerts, plays and field trips. He gets his favorite meal once a week…pizza and other creature comforts! Hell, why not let his mother come and stay. Or if his siblings need a place to crash for a spell…. his friends can move in if they need a place to stay as well! Now, tell me something. If you can find a woman who would allow all this, would you not want to make her the happiest woman alive? You hate your job and you are out of work for a spell, and she has to hit the food pantry because, though it is you who quit the job, you have too much pride to go yourself.
What's that? You have no idea why she gets so depressed. Oh hell, she is gaining weight. Yuk, she is disgusting and she wants you to make love to that? Man she is so disappointing! She doesn’t make the kids minds; look at this house! It’s filthy oh and now she doesn’t want to cook and when she does it isn’t like she use too. What the hell is wrong with her? Lazy fat b!tch and now she wants to be serviced. Yeah! Dream on. You don’t deserve it. What the hell do you do all day? Look at this house!!! The laundry needs to be done… well I guess I’ll have to do it, just like I have to do everything else around here!
Did you ever come home from work and find the little woman doing your job? You know, the man is supposed to take care of the garbage. You have the means to get rid of it, it’s just a hassle. So, you have let it go and the animals have gotten into it. Now you have to go out side on your day off and pick up… ooo Yuk! You come home after work one day and there is your wife. You know the one! She came from a nice home, had money, looks, and education and she chose you to be her help mate. Her protector. Her man! There she is, and all you can think to say to her is, “Oh, thank god. I didn’t want to have to do that.” So she bagged it all again, you cover it with a tarp. First chance you get you'll take it to the dump, only three weeks later it catches on fire! Now her father has to hire a guy with a small front loader and dump truck to cart your family’s trash away! Gees, why is she depressed? Couldn't possibly be because while she was outside taking care of your responsibilities so she didn’t hear the phone ring…which prompted her good friend's ride to the house in search of a baby sitter…where she was caught doing your job and was embarrassed beyond words...
a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious
ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners.
2. a married relationship between two people, or a somebody’s relationship
with his or her spouse.
3. the joining together in wedlock of two people
the ceremony in which two people are joined together formally in wedlock.
a close union, blend, or mixture of two things.
Wedlock: the state of being married
Nuptial: relating to marriage or weddings
Wedding: a ceremony in which two people get married * the bringing together of two individuals uniting of two things (in this case people)
Okay, so reading the Encarta my interpretation of Married:
Two people who are completely dedicated to one another that willingly devote a lot of time and effort to living their lives united and blended as one.
Loyalty is key as well. Standing by your man, but he has to be A Man! A man is a person of male gender who has a code of honor and lives by that code. He is a provider, protector, and lover. A stand up guy who knows how to be there and be everything his mate needs and wants. He follows through and believes in himself because he believes in the relationship and the woman he is devoted to. He believes his worth because he knows the woman he loves and adores respects and trusts him to take care of her and hers. He knows she will be what ever he wants and give him whatever he needs. Be his everything… anything.
When a man is allowed to be who he is, is liked for who he is and isn’t expected to change he should be appreciative of his mate, no? If his family and friends are counted as her friends and family and all are accepted as they are, just treated as individuals with respect and kindness, then that man should be appreciative that his woman isn’t trying to get rid of his support system of loved ones. You have managed to get rid of her support system and don’t have to deal with any of her old school mates or family. Only on holidays and birthdays. Wait, she says you don’t have to go to the family holiday dinners? You can do whatever you want? You are thinking, “No such woman exists!” You say she never says no sexually and was willing to satisfy you however you wanted. You would think if such a woman existed a man would be appreciative of his wife, wouldn't you? He isn’t forced to go to church or believe any religious mumbo jumbo and isn’t forced to work two jobs, the wife is willing to work…wouldn’t you think she was an ok wife? Now, maybe the house isn’t as clean as you would like it, however, she doesn’t nag and complain when you want to go hunting, fishing, bowling, or over to your friends house to watch the game. You want a couple of snakes, a lizard or two, a tarantula, dogs, cats, rabbits hell, you can even add a duck to the mix! Just keep in mind, the house IS NOT going to be spotless with five people and this zoo going on! Especially if she works, some times three jobs. She is the one to run the kids around. He doesn’t have to worry about trips to the doctors or going to parent teacher conferences, he get’s to do the fun stuff like going to the kid’s concerts, plays and field trips. He gets his favorite meal once a week…pizza and other creature comforts! Hell, why not let his mother come and stay. Or if his siblings need a place to crash for a spell…. his friends can move in if they need a place to stay as well! Now, tell me something. If you can find a woman who would allow all this, would you not want to make her the happiest woman alive? You hate your job and you are out of work for a spell, and she has to hit the food pantry because, though it is you who quit the job, you have too much pride to go yourself.
What's that? You have no idea why she gets so depressed. Oh hell, she is gaining weight. Yuk, she is disgusting and she wants you to make love to that? Man she is so disappointing! She doesn’t make the kids minds; look at this house! It’s filthy oh and now she doesn’t want to cook and when she does it isn’t like she use too. What the hell is wrong with her? Lazy fat b!tch and now she wants to be serviced. Yeah! Dream on. You don’t deserve it. What the hell do you do all day? Look at this house!!! The laundry needs to be done… well I guess I’ll have to do it, just like I have to do everything else around here!
Did you ever come home from work and find the little woman doing your job? You know, the man is supposed to take care of the garbage. You have the means to get rid of it, it’s just a hassle. So, you have let it go and the animals have gotten into it. Now you have to go out side on your day off and pick up… ooo Yuk! You come home after work one day and there is your wife. You know the one! She came from a nice home, had money, looks, and education and she chose you to be her help mate. Her protector. Her man! There she is, and all you can think to say to her is, “Oh, thank god. I didn’t want to have to do that.” So she bagged it all again, you cover it with a tarp. First chance you get you'll take it to the dump, only three weeks later it catches on fire! Now her father has to hire a guy with a small front loader and dump truck to cart your family’s trash away! Gees, why is she depressed? Couldn't possibly be because while she was outside taking care of your responsibilities so she didn’t hear the phone ring…which prompted her good friend's ride to the house in search of a baby sitter…where she was caught doing your job and was embarrassed beyond words...
17 Rules for a Happy Marriage
“I pray in Yahshua’s name that I and my loved ones are blessed and washed in the precious blood of Yahshua and that spheres of angels surround and protect all of us always. I pray that my home is a place where the angels want to be and that they feel welcome and comfortable here. Yahweh’s will be done. Amen and Amen.”
The saints are identified in the Bible as having four characteristics:
(1) keeping the commandments, (2) trusting the blood of the Lamb, (3) sharing their faith with others, and (4) choosing to die rather than to sin. A person who is truly in-love and married to Christ has made a life commitment to Him and walks His walk and talks His talk.
Christians aren’t perfect, they are, however, forgiven. Christians live in this world and are aware of what is going on in it. If you believe in God then you have to acknowledge that Lucifer exists. Oh yes, Satan lives here all right, as a matter of fact, this is his system of things. If it wasn’t he wouldn’t have been able to have offered it to Jesus/Yahweh! Matthew 4:8-11
8 Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.
9 And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”
10 Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”
11 Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.
The devil, that would be Lucifer, took Him, that would be Jesus or Yahshua, up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.” Well the only way Lucifer can give Yahshua all the kingdoms of the world and their glory is if they are his to give! Lucifer doesn’t want to suffer alone!
Lucifer loves to trip God’s people up; he wants Christians to stumble and look bad or actually look worldly. Christians may try not to be of the world or “in the world” OR “Be in the world” however sometimes it just can’t be helped. We are human! That is why Father Yahweh gave us Yahshua; because we do fall and stumble; sometimes through our own doings and some times because we are under attack. I know I am “IN” the world right now and am not a very good witness myself; HOWEVER I do trust in the blood of The Lamb and know I am not slated for Hell either. I believe in the blood of the Lamb or why Yahshua was sacrificed. I hate that I am part of the pain He felt as part of The Crucifixion. A portion of His suffering, His blood, is what cover’s me and all who believe in Him. He didn’t die for nothing. The Father knows my heart. He knows everyone’s heart, your’s included!
“It is not Yahweh's will for us to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers, especially in marriage. Aside from choosing to believe in Yahweh, it is probably the most important decision a believer will ever make.” Eliyah
(I didn’t do that! I did what I wanted to do and didn’t even think of Yahweh. I know better now! So my marrying an unbeliever was actually an abomination to Father Yahweh. I can only believe divorcing that hard hearted man is allowed, based on the fact that He only sanctions marriage between His people. I asked an Elder, Eliyah, about this and he prayed and then came up with the following so if you believe in God and His Son and are like I was, terrified of offending The Father, then this link will help you! http://www.eliyah.com/family/divorceremarriage.html) The man I married flat out denies Jesus/Yahshua…he does not have any love for God at all. This is why I know that I am allowed to divorce him. Being married to a down right cold loveless, inattentive, self-righteous, unkind, selfish, nagging person can encourage evil thoughts and actions in the opposite spouse. Which means that if a spouse goes looking for love else-where or no longer wants to be with the loveless, inattentive, self-righteous, unkind, selfish, nagging and or down right cold person BOTH parties share the guilt and are responsible for the disintegration of the marriage.
Ponder this: God is love…and if you do not marry a believer of God…how can you expect to be loved the way you deserve, want and need to be love? A non believer married to a believer gets love, however what does the believer get? I can tell you from experience, it wasn’t the love wanted, needed, craved or given!
Before you marry you need to know the rules! First of all it is until Death do you part. If you have it in the back of your mind, “Well, if this doesn’t work out I can always divorce him.” STOP right there. Ask yourself a few questions. First of all, do you love him? Are you in love with him, however don’t like him? Are you in love with him truly, or just like the idea of being in love? Do you like him? Do you like who your are when you are with him? Does he make you like you? Does he make you laugh? Does he make you feel good about yourself and life? Does he like your family and does that matter? Do you have children? Do they like him? Yeah yeah, they will be out of the house in a few years BUT THEY WILL STILL BE PART OF YOUR LIFE!!!! For the rest of it actually! Do you have the same goals, beliefs, values, dreams and most importantly faith? If you don’t like the answers you get to these questions you need to re-evaluate exactly why you want to marry this man. Gents… same goes for you!
There are 17 rules for a happy marriage:
1. Establish your own private home. Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
2. Continue your courtship. 1 Peter 4:8 “Above all hold unfailing your love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins.” Proverbs 31:28 “Her husband praises her.” 1 Corinthians 7:34 “She that is married careth…how she may please her husband.” Romans 12:10 “Be kindly affectioned one to another… in honor preferring one another.”
3. Remember that God joined you together in marriage. Matthew 19: 5-6: for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife. … Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder.”
4. Guard your thoughts---don’t let your senses trap you. Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Exodus 20:17 “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” Proverbs 4:23 “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Philippians 4:8 “Whatsoever things are true …honest…just…pure…lovely…of good report…think on these things.”
5. Never retire for the night angry with each other. Ephesians 4:26 “Let not the sun go down on your wrath.” James 5:16 “Confess your faults one to another.” Philippians 3:13 “Forgetting those things which are behind.” Ephesians 4:32 “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
6. Keep Christ in the center of your home. Psalm 127:1 “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.” Proverb 3:6 “In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Yahshua).”
7. Pray together. Matthew 26:41 “Pray that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” James 5:16 “Pray one for another.” James1”5 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally.”
8. Agree that divorce is not the answer. Matthew 19:6 “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:9 “Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultry: and whoso marrrieth her which is put away doth commit adultry.” Romans 7:2 “The woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth.”
9. Keep the family circle closed tightly. Exodus 20:14 “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Proverbs 31:11-12 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. … She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Malachi 2:14 “The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously.” Proverbs 6:24-29 “Keep thee from the evil woman. … Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. … Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes no be burned? … So he that goeth in to his neighbors’ wife, whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.”
10. God describes love; make it your daily goal to measure up. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is forbearing and kind. Love knows no jealousy. Love does not brag; is not conceited. She is not unmannerly, nor selfish, nor irritable, nor mindful of wrongs. She does not rejoice in injustice, but joyfully sides with the truth. She can overlook faults. She is full of trust, full of hope, full of endurance.”
11. Remember that criticism and nagging destroy love. Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Proverbs 21:19 “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” Proverb 27:15 “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” Matthew 7:3 “Why beholdest thou mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine eye?” (A mote is a splinter and a beam would be an entire board or 2x4!!!) 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love … looks for a way of being constuctive.”
12. Do not overdo in anything; be temperate. 1 Corinthians 9:25 “Every man that striveth for the the mastery is temperate in all things. 1 Corinthians 13:5 “Love … does not pursue selfish advantage.” 1 Corinthians 10:31 “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 9:27 “I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection.” 2 Thessalonians 3:10“If any would not work, neither should he eat.” Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled.” Romans 6:12-13 “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin.”
13. Respect each other’s personal rights and privacies. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is forbearing and kind. Love knows no jealousy. Love does not brag; is not conceited. She is not unmannerly, nor selfish, nor irritable, nor mindful of wrongs. She does not rejoice in injustice, but joyfully sides with the truth. She can overlook faults. She is full of trust, full of hope, full of endurance.” Romans 12:10 “Be kindly affectioned one to another… in honor preferring one another.”
14. Be clean, modest, orderly, and dutiful. 1 Timothy 2:9 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel.” Proverbs 31:1,15,27 “She … works with willing hands.” “she rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household.” “She lookswell to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Isaiah 52:11 “Be ye clean.” 1 Corinthians 14:40 “Let all things be done decently and in order. 1 Timothy 5:8 “If any provide not … for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” Hebrew 6:12 “Be not slothful.”
15. Determine to speak softly and kindly. Proverb 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Eccleciates 9:9 “Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest.” 1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I became a man, I put away childish things.”
16. Be reasonable in money matters. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 “Love is not possessive. … Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage.” 2 Corinthians 9:2 “God loveth a cheerful giver.”
17. Talk things over and counsel together freely. 1 Corinthians 13:4,5 “Love is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importence. … It is not touchy.” Proverbs 15:32 “He that refuseth instuction despiseth his own soul.” Proverbs 23:12”Seet thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him.
The saints are identified in the Bible as having four characteristics:
(1) keeping the commandments, (2) trusting the blood of the Lamb, (3) sharing their faith with others, and (4) choosing to die rather than to sin. A person who is truly in-love and married to Christ has made a life commitment to Him and walks His walk and talks His talk.
Christians aren’t perfect, they are, however, forgiven. Christians live in this world and are aware of what is going on in it. If you believe in God then you have to acknowledge that Lucifer exists. Oh yes, Satan lives here all right, as a matter of fact, this is his system of things. If it wasn’t he wouldn’t have been able to have offered it to Jesus/Yahweh! Matthew 4:8-11
8 Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.
9 And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”
10 Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”
11 Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.
The devil, that would be Lucifer, took Him, that would be Jesus or Yahshua, up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.” Well the only way Lucifer can give Yahshua all the kingdoms of the world and their glory is if they are his to give! Lucifer doesn’t want to suffer alone!
Lucifer loves to trip God’s people up; he wants Christians to stumble and look bad or actually look worldly. Christians may try not to be of the world or “in the world” OR “Be in the world” however sometimes it just can’t be helped. We are human! That is why Father Yahweh gave us Yahshua; because we do fall and stumble; sometimes through our own doings and some times because we are under attack. I know I am “IN” the world right now and am not a very good witness myself; HOWEVER I do trust in the blood of The Lamb and know I am not slated for Hell either. I believe in the blood of the Lamb or why Yahshua was sacrificed. I hate that I am part of the pain He felt as part of The Crucifixion. A portion of His suffering, His blood, is what cover’s me and all who believe in Him. He didn’t die for nothing. The Father knows my heart. He knows everyone’s heart, your’s included!
“It is not Yahweh's will for us to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers, especially in marriage. Aside from choosing to believe in Yahweh, it is probably the most important decision a believer will ever make.” Eliyah
(I didn’t do that! I did what I wanted to do and didn’t even think of Yahweh. I know better now! So my marrying an unbeliever was actually an abomination to Father Yahweh. I can only believe divorcing that hard hearted man is allowed, based on the fact that He only sanctions marriage between His people. I asked an Elder, Eliyah, about this and he prayed and then came up with the following so if you believe in God and His Son and are like I was, terrified of offending The Father, then this link will help you! http://www.eliyah.com/family/divorceremarriage.html) The man I married flat out denies Jesus/Yahshua…he does not have any love for God at all. This is why I know that I am allowed to divorce him. Being married to a down right cold loveless, inattentive, self-righteous, unkind, selfish, nagging person can encourage evil thoughts and actions in the opposite spouse. Which means that if a spouse goes looking for love else-where or no longer wants to be with the loveless, inattentive, self-righteous, unkind, selfish, nagging and or down right cold person BOTH parties share the guilt and are responsible for the disintegration of the marriage.
Ponder this: God is love…and if you do not marry a believer of God…how can you expect to be loved the way you deserve, want and need to be love? A non believer married to a believer gets love, however what does the believer get? I can tell you from experience, it wasn’t the love wanted, needed, craved or given!
Before you marry you need to know the rules! First of all it is until Death do you part. If you have it in the back of your mind, “Well, if this doesn’t work out I can always divorce him.” STOP right there. Ask yourself a few questions. First of all, do you love him? Are you in love with him, however don’t like him? Are you in love with him truly, or just like the idea of being in love? Do you like him? Do you like who your are when you are with him? Does he make you like you? Does he make you laugh? Does he make you feel good about yourself and life? Does he like your family and does that matter? Do you have children? Do they like him? Yeah yeah, they will be out of the house in a few years BUT THEY WILL STILL BE PART OF YOUR LIFE!!!! For the rest of it actually! Do you have the same goals, beliefs, values, dreams and most importantly faith? If you don’t like the answers you get to these questions you need to re-evaluate exactly why you want to marry this man. Gents… same goes for you!
There are 17 rules for a happy marriage:
1. Establish your own private home. Genesis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
2. Continue your courtship. 1 Peter 4:8 “Above all hold unfailing your love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins.” Proverbs 31:28 “Her husband praises her.” 1 Corinthians 7:34 “She that is married careth…how she may please her husband.” Romans 12:10 “Be kindly affectioned one to another… in honor preferring one another.”
3. Remember that God joined you together in marriage. Matthew 19: 5-6: for this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife. … Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together let not man put asunder.”
4. Guard your thoughts---don’t let your senses trap you. Proverbs 23:7 “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.” Exodus 20:17 “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife.” Proverbs 4:23 “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Philippians 4:8 “Whatsoever things are true …honest…just…pure…lovely…of good report…think on these things.”
5. Never retire for the night angry with each other. Ephesians 4:26 “Let not the sun go down on your wrath.” James 5:16 “Confess your faults one to another.” Philippians 3:13 “Forgetting those things which are behind.” Ephesians 4:32 “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
6. Keep Christ in the center of your home. Psalm 127:1 “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.” Proverb 3:6 “In all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths.” Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Yahshua).”
7. Pray together. Matthew 26:41 “Pray that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” James 5:16 “Pray one for another.” James1”5 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally.”
8. Agree that divorce is not the answer. Matthew 19:6 “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:9 “Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultry: and whoso marrrieth her which is put away doth commit adultry.” Romans 7:2 “The woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth.”
9. Keep the family circle closed tightly. Exodus 20:14 “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Proverbs 31:11-12 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. … She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Malachi 2:14 “The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously.” Proverbs 6:24-29 “Keep thee from the evil woman. … Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. … Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes no be burned? … So he that goeth in to his neighbors’ wife, whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.”
10. God describes love; make it your daily goal to measure up. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is forbearing and kind. Love knows no jealousy. Love does not brag; is not conceited. She is not unmannerly, nor selfish, nor irritable, nor mindful of wrongs. She does not rejoice in injustice, but joyfully sides with the truth. She can overlook faults. She is full of trust, full of hope, full of endurance.”
11. Remember that criticism and nagging destroy love. Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Proverbs 21:19 “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” Proverb 27:15 “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” Matthew 7:3 “Why beholdest thou mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine eye?” (A mote is a splinter and a beam would be an entire board or 2x4!!!) 1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love … looks for a way of being constuctive.”
12. Do not overdo in anything; be temperate. 1 Corinthians 9:25 “Every man that striveth for the the mastery is temperate in all things. 1 Corinthians 13:5 “Love … does not pursue selfish advantage.” 1 Corinthians 10:31 “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 9:27 “I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection.” 2 Thessalonians 3:10“If any would not work, neither should he eat.” Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled.” Romans 6:12-13 “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin.”
13. Respect each other’s personal rights and privacies. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is forbearing and kind. Love knows no jealousy. Love does not brag; is not conceited. She is not unmannerly, nor selfish, nor irritable, nor mindful of wrongs. She does not rejoice in injustice, but joyfully sides with the truth. She can overlook faults. She is full of trust, full of hope, full of endurance.” Romans 12:10 “Be kindly affectioned one to another… in honor preferring one another.”
14. Be clean, modest, orderly, and dutiful. 1 Timothy 2:9 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel.” Proverbs 31:1,15,27 “She … works with willing hands.” “she rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household.” “She lookswell to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Isaiah 52:11 “Be ye clean.” 1 Corinthians 14:40 “Let all things be done decently and in order. 1 Timothy 5:8 “If any provide not … for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” Hebrew 6:12 “Be not slothful.”
15. Determine to speak softly and kindly. Proverb 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Eccleciates 9:9 “Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest.” 1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I became a man, I put away childish things.”
16. Be reasonable in money matters. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 “Love is not possessive. … Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage.” 2 Corinthians 9:2 “God loveth a cheerful giver.”
17. Talk things over and counsel together freely. 1 Corinthians 13:4,5 “Love is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importence. … It is not touchy.” Proverbs 15:32 “He that refuseth instuction despiseth his own soul.” Proverbs 23:12”Seet thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him.
No sympathy for the Devil!
I just heard a question that put me in philosophical mode. Don’t get me wrong! I don’t have all the answers! I have been studying the bible for years, that doesn’t make me an authority! I may be naïve, but I chose to believe as a child. So keep all that in mind. I also believe I am lead by the Holy Spirit.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! What was the question?” You ask? I shall answer:
Why does God let bad things happen to good people? Why is allowed that little children are molested, beaten and murdered by strangers and even worse, loved ones? How does God let a poor defenseless puppy be killed by supposedly honorable men? If there is a God why doesn’t He interfere?
Well, first of all… WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION HIM? Did you create the heavens and the earth? Did you have anything to do with the planning and the making of it all? How do you know that the death of a few puppies won’t start a movement that brings a few people to the Father? That a community won’t be pulled together over a lost child and several people in that community will come to find and serve God? It is not our place to question. It is also not The Father’s fault things are the way they are. To make this point clear we have to start at the beginning and work our way all the way through until we get to the end of my “revelations”. I will make points and I will back up everything I say with scripture! The question is you willing to take this journey with me? Once you are given the truth you become accountable. So, consider yourself warned!
I believe I am saved. I am a servant of my Elohim, Yahweh. My savior is Yahshua. Some say Yahushua while most say Jesus; all are one and the same. I believe that Yahshua was born in the month of October and died in the month of April at the age of 33 ½. I believe Yahshua was Yahweh’s answer to Lucifer’s challenge. I said I can back up everything I say…you can’t believe in the existence of God and not Satan. If that is the case, don’t be calling me naïve! READ ON!!!
1 John 3:8 (New King James Version)
8 He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.
The son of Man would be Jesus/Yahshua!
Revelation 12:9 (New King James Version)
9 So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.
(Keep in mind where this fallen angel was tossed!))
Isaiah 14:12 (New King James Version)
The Fall of Lucifer
12 “ How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, You who weakened the nations!
Yahshua said, Luke 10:18 (New King James Version)
18 … “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.”
Ezekiel 28:13-17 (New International Version)
13 You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone adorned you: ruby, topaz and emerald, chrysolite, onyx and jasper, sapphire, turquoise and beryl. Your settings and mountings were made of gold; on the day you were created they were prepared.
Lucifer was created too! What a jerk he is; to have such a position in heaven with The Father; to know the Father up-front close and personal. To be a favorite and to be so ungrateful!
14 You were anointed as a guardian cherub, for so I ordained you. You were on the holy mount of God; you walked among the fiery stones.
15 You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you.
16 Through your widespread trade you were filled with violence, and you sinned. So I drove you in disgrace from the mount of God, and I expelled you, O guardian cherub, from among the fiery stones.
17 Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings.
At the risk of being ‘O Repeato Girl, I will point this out again! Lucifer was created as we were! He was an exalted Angel, a “covering” cherub, or angel. One great Angel stands on the left side of god’s throne and another on the right side.
Psalm 99:1 (New King James Version)
Praise to the LORD for His Holiness
1 The LORD reigns; Let the peoples tremble! He dwells between the cherubim; Let the earth be moved!
So there is Lucifer; hanging out with Father God all day. He is beautiful and perfect and has the best pipes (vocals) going. (Did I mention I think Lucifer was a jerk? He was jealous of us worshipping The Father?) He wanted us to worship him. He still does for that fact. He has quite a few followers too. I don’t get it. I look around his system of things and do not see where he is doing such a great job. He wants me to bow down and thank him for all the pain and suffering he caused? He thought he could do things better than The Father! Well, get to it already! He let his beauty and wisdom go to his head and he believed in his heart that he was better than his creator!
Ezekiel 28:17 (New King James Version)
17 “ Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty; You corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor; I cast you to the ground, I laid you before kings, That they might gaze at you.
Isaiah 14:13 (New King James Version)
13 For you have said in your heart: ‘ I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation On the farthest sides of the north;
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.’
Why Lucifer you narcissist you! You were the best creation! One very proud angel who became discontent because of his own self exaltation! THAT’S TREASON! We suffer today because of Lucifer and his desire to be worshipped! He didn’t like God’s rule?
Exodus 20:3 (New King James Version)
3 “You shall have no other gods before Me
Well, per Matthew 12:30 (New King James Version)
30 He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad.
I did mention that once you read this you will then be aware of what you are suppose to be doing, didn’t I? Wait! Let me check! Yep! “Once you are given the truth you become accountable. So, consider yourself warned!” I did! Matthew 12:30 is Yahshua speaking. He is telling us if we put anyone or anything in from of Him, we are putting Lucifer first and unwittingly serving him! Let me warn you scripturally:
Matthew 12:31 (New King James Version)
The Unpardonable Sin
31 “Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men.
32 Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.
I believe that means if you do not believe that Jesus/Yahshua was born of Father Yahweh and the Virgin Mary then you are speaking against the Holy Spirit.
Luke 1:35 (New King James Version)
35 And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God.
Now, they know this in Heaven! Lucifer and a third of his angels KNOW this! Yet they stupidly revolt against the Father as spoiled children. I can see wanting to emulate your parent, but wanting to be bigger, better, and more beautiful when it is not possible…one should be thankful and grateful for being as blessed as they already are! Right! If my child where to disrespect me and become hateful and disruptive in my house and started taking his siblings with him, I’d kick him out! Tough love or self preservation I don’t care what you call it! They are not welcome in my home!
Revelations 12:7-12 (New King James Version)
Satan Thrown Out of Heaven
7 And war broke out in heaven: Michael and his angels fought with the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought,
8 but they did not prevail, nor was a place found for them in heaven any longer.
9 So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.
10 Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.
11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.
(Oh great! Guess who got them!)
12 Therefore rejoice, O heavens, and you who dwell in them! Woe to the inhabitants of the earth and the sea! For the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, because he knows that he has a short time.”
Not only that, but after Yahshua was baptized:::>
Matthew 4 (New King James Version)
Satan Tempts Jesus
1 Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.
2 And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry.
3 Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”
4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’”
5 Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple,
6 and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: ‘ He shall give His angels charge over you,’ and, ‘ In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”
7 Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the LORD your God.’”
8 Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.
9 And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”
10 Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”
11 Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.
The devil, that would be Lucifer, took Him, that would be Jesus or Yahshua, up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.” Well the only way Lucifer can give Yahshua all the kingdoms of the world and their glory is if they are his to give! Lucifer doesn’t want to suffer alone! I find I need to be as the Thessalonians of old:
1 Thessalonians 1 (New International Version)
… They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God,
10 and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.
2 Thessalonians 1 (New International Version)
1Paul, Silas and Timothy, To the church of the Thessalonians in God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ:
2 Grace and peace to you from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Thanksgiving and Prayer
3 We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing.
4 Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
5 All this is evidence that God's judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering.
6 God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you
7 and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels.
8 He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus.
9 They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power
10 on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you.
11 With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.
12 We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I am not alone in my beliefs http://www.theshininglight.info/index.html
Shabbat Shalom!
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! What was the question?” You ask? I shall answer:
Why does God let bad things happen to good people? Why is allowed that little children are molested, beaten and murdered by strangers and even worse, loved ones? How does God let a poor defenseless puppy be killed by supposedly honorable men? If there is a God why doesn’t He interfere?
Well, first of all… WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION HIM? Did you create the heavens and the earth? Did you have anything to do with the planning and the making of it all? How do you know that the death of a few puppies won’t start a movement that brings a few people to the Father? That a community won’t be pulled together over a lost child and several people in that community will come to find and serve God? It is not our place to question. It is also not The Father’s fault things are the way they are. To make this point clear we have to start at the beginning and work our way all the way through until we get to the end of my “revelations”. I will make points and I will back up everything I say with scripture! The question is you willing to take this journey with me? Once you are given the truth you become accountable. So, consider yourself warned!
I believe I am saved. I am a servant of my Elohim, Yahweh. My savior is Yahshua. Some say Yahushua while most say Jesus; all are one and the same. I believe that Yahshua was born in the month of October and died in the month of April at the age of 33 ½. I believe Yahshua was Yahweh’s answer to Lucifer’s challenge. I said I can back up everything I say…you can’t believe in the existence of God and not Satan. If that is the case, don’t be calling me naïve! READ ON!!!
1 John 3:8 (New King James Version)
8 He who sins is of the devil, for the devil has sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that He might destroy the works of the devil.
The son of Man would be Jesus/Yahshua!
Revelation 12:9 (New King James Version)
9 So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.
(Keep in mind where this fallen angel was tossed!))
Isaiah 14:12 (New King James Version)
The Fall of Lucifer
12 “ How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, You who weakened the nations!
Yahshua said, Luke 10:18 (New King James Version)
18 … “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven.”
Ezekiel 28:13-17 (New International Version)
13 You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone adorned you: ruby, topaz and emerald, chrysolite, onyx and jasper, sapphire, turquoise and beryl. Your settings and mountings were made of gold; on the day you were created they were prepared.
Lucifer was created too! What a jerk he is; to have such a position in heaven with The Father; to know the Father up-front close and personal. To be a favorite and to be so ungrateful!
14 You were anointed as a guardian cherub, for so I ordained you. You were on the holy mount of God; you walked among the fiery stones.
15 You were blameless in your ways from the day you were created till wickedness was found in you.
16 Through your widespread trade you were filled with violence, and you sinned. So I drove you in disgrace from the mount of God, and I expelled you, O guardian cherub, from among the fiery stones.
17 Your heart became proud on account of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor. So I threw you to the earth; I made a spectacle of you before kings.
At the risk of being ‘O Repeato Girl, I will point this out again! Lucifer was created as we were! He was an exalted Angel, a “covering” cherub, or angel. One great Angel stands on the left side of god’s throne and another on the right side.
Psalm 99:1 (New King James Version)
Praise to the LORD for His Holiness
1 The LORD reigns; Let the peoples tremble! He dwells between the cherubim; Let the earth be moved!
So there is Lucifer; hanging out with Father God all day. He is beautiful and perfect and has the best pipes (vocals) going. (Did I mention I think Lucifer was a jerk? He was jealous of us worshipping The Father?) He wanted us to worship him. He still does for that fact. He has quite a few followers too. I don’t get it. I look around his system of things and do not see where he is doing such a great job. He wants me to bow down and thank him for all the pain and suffering he caused? He thought he could do things better than The Father! Well, get to it already! He let his beauty and wisdom go to his head and he believed in his heart that he was better than his creator!
Ezekiel 28:17 (New King James Version)
17 “ Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty; You corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor; I cast you to the ground, I laid you before kings, That they might gaze at you.
Isaiah 14:13 (New King James Version)
13 For you have said in your heart: ‘ I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation On the farthest sides of the north;
14 I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.’
Why Lucifer you narcissist you! You were the best creation! One very proud angel who became discontent because of his own self exaltation! THAT’S TREASON! We suffer today because of Lucifer and his desire to be worshipped! He didn’t like God’s rule?
Exodus 20:3 (New King James Version)
3 “You shall have no other gods before Me
Well, per Matthew 12:30 (New King James Version)
30 He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters abroad.
I did mention that once you read this you will then be aware of what you are suppose to be doing, didn’t I? Wait! Let me check! Yep! “Once you are given the truth you become accountable. So, consider yourself warned!” I did! Matthew 12:30 is Yahshua speaking. He is telling us if we put anyone or anything in from of Him, we are putting Lucifer first and unwittingly serving him! Let me warn you scripturally:
Matthew 12:31 (New King James Version)
The Unpardonable Sin
31 “Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men.
32 Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come.
I believe that means if you do not believe that Jesus/Yahshua was born of Father Yahweh and the Virgin Mary then you are speaking against the Holy Spirit.
Luke 1:35 (New King James Version)
35 And the angel answered and said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Highest will overshadow you; therefore, also, that Holy One who is to be born will be called the Son of God.
Now, they know this in Heaven! Lucifer and a third of his angels KNOW this! Yet they stupidly revolt against the Father as spoiled children. I can see wanting to emulate your parent, but wanting to be bigger, better, and more beautiful when it is not possible…one should be thankful and grateful for being as blessed as they already are! Right! If my child where to disrespect me and become hateful and disruptive in my house and started taking his siblings with him, I’d kick him out! Tough love or self preservation I don’t care what you call it! They are not welcome in my home!
Revelations 12:7-12 (New King James Version)
Satan Thrown Out of Heaven
7 And war broke out in heaven: Michael and his angels fought with the dragon; and the dragon and his angels fought,
8 but they did not prevail, nor was a place found for them in heaven any longer.
9 So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.
10 Then I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, “Now salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren, who accused them before our God day and night, has been cast down.
11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.
(Oh great! Guess who got them!)
12 Therefore rejoice, O heavens, and you who dwell in them! Woe to the inhabitants of the earth and the sea! For the devil has come down to you, having great wrath, because he knows that he has a short time.”
Not only that, but after Yahshua was baptized:::>
Matthew 4 (New King James Version)
Satan Tempts Jesus
1 Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.
2 And when He had fasted forty days and forty nights, afterward He was hungry.
3 Now when the tempter came to Him, he said, “If You are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.”
4 But He answered and said, “It is written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God.’”
5 Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple,
6 and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down. For it is written: ‘ He shall give His angels charge over you,’ and, ‘ In their hands they shall bear you up, Lest you dash your foot against a stone.’”
7 Jesus said to him, “It is written again, ‘You shall not tempt the LORD your God.’”
8 Again, the devil took Him up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory.
9 And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.”
10 Then Jesus said to him, “Away with you, Satan! For it is written, ‘You shall worship the LORD your God, and Him only you shall serve.’”
11 Then the devil left Him, and behold, angels came and ministered to Him.
The devil, that would be Lucifer, took Him, that would be Jesus or Yahshua, up on an exceedingly high mountain, and showed Him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and worship me.” Well the only way Lucifer can give Yahshua all the kingdoms of the world and their glory is if they are his to give! Lucifer doesn’t want to suffer alone! I find I need to be as the Thessalonians of old:
1 Thessalonians 1 (New International Version)
… They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God,
10 and to wait for his Son from heaven, whom he raised from the dead—Jesus, who rescues us from the coming wrath.
2 Thessalonians 1 (New International Version)
1Paul, Silas and Timothy, To the church of the Thessalonians in God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ:
2 Grace and peace to you from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Thanksgiving and Prayer
3 We ought always to thank God for you, brothers, and rightly so, because your faith is growing more and more, and the love every one of you has for each other is increasing.
4 Therefore, among God's churches we boast about your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and trials you are enduring.
5 All this is evidence that God's judgment is right, and as a result you will be counted worthy of the kingdom of God, for which you are suffering.
6 God is just: He will pay back trouble to those who trouble you
7 and give relief to you who are troubled, and to us as well. This will happen when the Lord Jesus is revealed from heaven in blazing fire with his powerful angels.
8 He will punish those who do not know God and do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus.
9 They will be punished with everlasting destruction and shut out from the presence of the Lord and from the majesty of his power
10 on the day he comes to be glorified in his holy people and to be marveled at among all those who have believed. This includes you, because you believed our testimony to you.
11 With this in mind, we constantly pray for you, that our God may count you worthy of his calling, and that by his power he may fulfill every good purpose of yours and every act prompted by your faith.
12 We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I am not alone in my beliefs http://www.theshininglight.info/index.html
Shabbat Shalom!
Do you know when Sabbath is?
I know quite a few people have a problem with the trinity. How can Jesus be God? He was like a god, but not God. If He was God why did he call out to Himself on the cross? Why is there no mention in the bible of the Trinity?
Look, I just do as I am told and believe as a child. God is the creator, He designed and made everything, who are we to question how He can separate Himself and do what He does? Have you ever contemplated your own body? Start small, take a look at your hand and think about it. The hand alone has 27 bones, and if you ever had your thumb out of commission, just remember how challenged you were with out it! Yea, you were designed; you weren’t a result of “The Big Bang”! Well, maybe you were. The Father said, “I am lonely. I will create the Heavens and the Earth and all that it entails.” He snapped his fingers and “BANG”! Six more snaps and He was done…He rested.
Question! We all know, those of us who know Yahweh, our Father, that He is the same today as He was yesterday…right? Well, being He didn’t change why is it that the Sabbath changed? The answer is not a good one! It was to please the pagans and to convert them to Christianity. Therefore compromises were made. I don’t know. If The Father went through all the trouble of making laws and rules, who the heck are we to argue and make compromises with Satan’s world? Isn’t that fence walking in a sense? Blending two religions, one being false, isn’t that serving the father of lies? Isn’t that slapping Father Yahweh in the face? Didn’t He allow Michael the arch-angel to toss His once favorite and beloved angel to the earth? I do believe it says in His word, “Woe to the earth and it’s inhabitants…”
Isaiah 14:11-13 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
11 All your pomp has been brought down to the grave, along with the noise of your harps; maggots are spread out beneath you and worms cover you.
12 How you have fallen from heaven, O morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations!
13 You said in your heart, "I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain.
Ok, so if Satan was tossed out of the presence of Yahweh, why in the world would He want to be joined to him on earth? You can not pick and choose from each religion the best of each and make one religion! Either you follow the Bible and The Father’s words…or you don’t. Where am I going with this? I am talking about the Sabbath being Friday sunset to Saturday sunset. When we observe the Sabbath on a Sunday, being it was moved there for the Sun god worshippers as a compromise, I wonder how that makes Father Yahweh feel.
And on the seventh day God ended the work which He had made; and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had made. And God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it Gen 2:2-3.
He, Father God, sanctified it. Blessed it. Made it holy. Now I don't know about your calendar, but the first day of the week on mine is Sunday. Even if you so keep Sabbath on Sunday, do you keep it holy all Sunday?
Isaiah 58:13-14.
13 “ If you turn away your foot from the Sabbath, From doing your pleasure on My holy day, And call the Sabbath a delight, The holy day of the LORD honorable, And shall honor Him, not doing your own ways, Nor finding your own pleasure, Nor speaking your own words, 14 Then you shall delight yourself in the LORD; And I will cause you to ride on the high hills of the earth, And feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father. The mouth of the LORD has spoken.”
Mark 2:7
27 And He said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath."
Yahshua/Jesus observed the Sabbath on the same days as the Jews of His time, Friday sunset to Saturday sunset. Now let us reason this out. The soldier was going to break His legs, but discovered He was already dead and pierced his side with a sword. Blood and water spilled out, showing that He actually died of a broken heart! Why did they need to hurry this process up? Because Sabbath was coming! The sun was starting to set! The reason the women were going to the tomb to dress Yahshua's body was because they were not allowed to work on the Sabbath, so after Sabbath they could go and take care of Him. In the tomb He went on Friday before sunset and on the third day He rose, which would have been Sunday. So He rested on the Sabbath, as a good son should, and then went to work full filling the prophecies on Sunday...yet one more reason why Sunday can not possibly be The Sabbath!
I just wanted to point that out.
Look, I just do as I am told and believe as a child. God is the creator, He designed and made everything, who are we to question how He can separate Himself and do what He does? Have you ever contemplated your own body? Start small, take a look at your hand and think about it. The hand alone has 27 bones, and if you ever had your thumb out of commission, just remember how challenged you were with out it! Yea, you were designed; you weren’t a result of “The Big Bang”! Well, maybe you were. The Father said, “I am lonely. I will create the Heavens and the Earth and all that it entails.” He snapped his fingers and “BANG”! Six more snaps and He was done…He rested.
Question! We all know, those of us who know Yahweh, our Father, that He is the same today as He was yesterday…right? Well, being He didn’t change why is it that the Sabbath changed? The answer is not a good one! It was to please the pagans and to convert them to Christianity. Therefore compromises were made. I don’t know. If The Father went through all the trouble of making laws and rules, who the heck are we to argue and make compromises with Satan’s world? Isn’t that fence walking in a sense? Blending two religions, one being false, isn’t that serving the father of lies? Isn’t that slapping Father Yahweh in the face? Didn’t He allow Michael the arch-angel to toss His once favorite and beloved angel to the earth? I do believe it says in His word, “Woe to the earth and it’s inhabitants…”
Isaiah 14:11-13 (New International Version)
New International Version (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
11 All your pomp has been brought down to the grave, along with the noise of your harps; maggots are spread out beneath you and worms cover you.
12 How you have fallen from heaven, O morning star, son of the dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations!
13 You said in your heart, "I will ascend to heaven; I will raise my throne above the stars of God; I will sit enthroned on the mount of assembly, on the utmost heights of the sacred mountain.
Ok, so if Satan was tossed out of the presence of Yahweh, why in the world would He want to be joined to him on earth? You can not pick and choose from each religion the best of each and make one religion! Either you follow the Bible and The Father’s words…or you don’t. Where am I going with this? I am talking about the Sabbath being Friday sunset to Saturday sunset. When we observe the Sabbath on a Sunday, being it was moved there for the Sun god worshippers as a compromise, I wonder how that makes Father Yahweh feel.
And on the seventh day God ended the work which He had made; and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had made. And God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it Gen 2:2-3.
He, Father God, sanctified it. Blessed it. Made it holy. Now I don't know about your calendar, but the first day of the week on mine is Sunday. Even if you so keep Sabbath on Sunday, do you keep it holy all Sunday?
Isaiah 58:13-14.
13 “ If you turn away your foot from the Sabbath, From doing your pleasure on My holy day, And call the Sabbath a delight, The holy day of the LORD honorable, And shall honor Him, not doing your own ways, Nor finding your own pleasure, Nor speaking your own words, 14 Then you shall delight yourself in the LORD; And I will cause you to ride on the high hills of the earth, And feed you with the heritage of Jacob your father. The mouth of the LORD has spoken.”
Mark 2:7
27 And He said to them, “The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath."
Yahshua/Jesus observed the Sabbath on the same days as the Jews of His time, Friday sunset to Saturday sunset. Now let us reason this out. The soldier was going to break His legs, but discovered He was already dead and pierced his side with a sword. Blood and water spilled out, showing that He actually died of a broken heart! Why did they need to hurry this process up? Because Sabbath was coming! The sun was starting to set! The reason the women were going to the tomb to dress Yahshua's body was because they were not allowed to work on the Sabbath, so after Sabbath they could go and take care of Him. In the tomb He went on Friday before sunset and on the third day He rose, which would have been Sunday. So He rested on the Sabbath, as a good son should, and then went to work full filling the prophecies on Sunday...yet one more reason why Sunday can not possibly be The Sabbath!
I just wanted to point that out.
Loneliness is Worse!
Will my fate ever be sealed?
Current mood: lonely
Why is it in every relationship I have ever been in I am always singing Loneliness Is Worse? I already know the answer to that. It is because each time I fall, I fall for a man God did not choose for me. I always make the first move; open the door to a relationship. Maneuvers…say I love you first. I can't help it. I am an open and honest woman. I don't play games. I try to hard. I make excuses. I put blinders on. The men in my life I have given my heart to each had value and significance. I saw such wonderful possibilities in both relationships. I am not a materialistic kind of girl, and I think that may be one of my flaws. Sure I like nice things, but I am storing up my treasures for heaven. I work long days so I can have the Sabbath off. The men in my life hear me when I say that, but then don't like when I observe. I need a man who believes like I do and observes like I do. So you see I know the men in my life were my choice and not Yahweh's. If they were Yahweh's I wouldn't be singing:
Veruca Salt's Lonliness is Worse
When you've had enough
When you've got it bad enough and you can't let go
When it comes to blows
And you start to overflow
But you can't get home
It's a subtle kind of cruel
It taps my spine here
I'm drawing a line
I'm asking please
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon
I'll turn sadder than you ever were and
you'll learn loneliness is worse
You've got to try
December's all alone and he's calling me on the phone
But he sounds so cold
He says he loves me so
But how would I ever know?
Certain words grow old
It's a vicious kind of catch
It sides me blind
nowI'm out of my mind
I wanna to scream
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon
I'll turn sadder than you ever were and
you'll learn loneliness is worse
You've got to try
Love liked me long ago
It had a way of making everyone the same
But how the angels
must laugh and sigh
To hear me pleading with you
Needing this you this way
Oh why don't you wanna to be happy with me?
Don't you wannna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon
I'll turn sadder than you ever were
and you'll learn loneliness is worse
You've got to try to stay mine all the way
Don't you wannna to be happy with me?
Don't you wannna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon I'll turn sadder than you ever were and you'll learn loneliness is worse
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's right there with Kate Nash's Pumpkin Soup, well, the first verses at least:
You're chatting to me like we connect
But I don't even know if we're still friends
It's so confusing understanding you
it's making me not want to do
The things that I know I should do
But I trip fast and then I lose
And I hate looking like a fool
I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy I just want your kiss I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy I just want your kiss
The lights are on And someone's home
But I'm not sure if they're alone
There's someone else inside my head
Living there too filling me with dread
This paranoia is distressing
But I spend most of my nights guessing
Are we not, are we together
Will this make our lives much better
I AM NOT GETTING INVOLVED EVER AGAIN WITH A MAN, ANY MAN UNLESS HE PROMISES ME THAT HE ISN'T EVER GOING AWAY AND THAT HE WILL ALWAYS STAY! YES!!! He is going to have to show me if I am willing to save him from drowning, then he is never going to let go and therefore will never go away! Just like in the song
My Number by Tegan and Sara:
So watch your head and then watch the ground
It's a silly time to learn to swim
When you start to drown
It's a silly time to learn to swim
On the way down
If I gave you my number
Would it still be the same
If I saved you from drowning
Promise me you'll never go away
Promise me you'll always stay
What I really want to be singing is
Belly's Seal My Fate:
Untame my brain.
Give me a name.
Hear my faith.
Seal my fate.
Unholy and dirty words I gathered to me,
Thinking the point was keep what's mine for me,
While he's laughing.
Hear my faith.
Seal my fate.
And when you breathe, you breathe for two.
And if you think you've finally found the perfect light,
I hope it's true.
Unholy and dirty words I gathered to me,
Thinking the point was keep what's mine for me,
While he's laughing.
On every track I fractured every back,
Thinking the point was step on every crack,
And he's laughing.
Hear my faith.
Seal my fate.
And when you breathe, you breathe for two.
And if you think you've finally found the perfect light,
I hope it's true.
You say you saw him laughing.
I hope it's true.
I'd like to see it happen.
I hope it's true
'Cause I can feel it.
I hope it's true.....
I would love to be someone's light. I would love people to walk up to me and say, "I never saw so and so laugh so hard! He deserves happiness in his life, you are good for him." Yes siree I would love to hear that! I would love to feel that. Hear my faith. That means that man will also understand my beliefs. Seal my fate. Would mean that we are meant for one another, soul-mates. And when you breathe, you breathe for two. Means we are one and his life is my life., .And if you think you've finally found the perfect light, I hope it's true. Would mean he believes as I do and we are sactioned by The Father and therefore married and happy.
You'll have to excuse me…I need to go cry now. I'll be better tomorrow, until the witching hour rolls around again.
Currently listening : King By Belly
Release date: 1995-02-14
Current mood: lonely
Why is it in every relationship I have ever been in I am always singing Loneliness Is Worse? I already know the answer to that. It is because each time I fall, I fall for a man God did not choose for me. I always make the first move; open the door to a relationship. Maneuvers…say I love you first. I can't help it. I am an open and honest woman. I don't play games. I try to hard. I make excuses. I put blinders on. The men in my life I have given my heart to each had value and significance. I saw such wonderful possibilities in both relationships. I am not a materialistic kind of girl, and I think that may be one of my flaws. Sure I like nice things, but I am storing up my treasures for heaven. I work long days so I can have the Sabbath off. The men in my life hear me when I say that, but then don't like when I observe. I need a man who believes like I do and observes like I do. So you see I know the men in my life were my choice and not Yahweh's. If they were Yahweh's I wouldn't be singing:
Veruca Salt's Lonliness is Worse
When you've had enough
When you've got it bad enough and you can't let go
When it comes to blows
And you start to overflow
But you can't get home
It's a subtle kind of cruel
It taps my spine here
I'm drawing a line
I'm asking please
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon
I'll turn sadder than you ever were and
you'll learn loneliness is worse
You've got to try
December's all alone and he's calling me on the phone
But he sounds so cold
He says he loves me so
But how would I ever know?
Certain words grow old
It's a vicious kind of catch
It sides me blind
nowI'm out of my mind
I wanna to scream
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon
I'll turn sadder than you ever were and
you'll learn loneliness is worse
You've got to try
Love liked me long ago
It had a way of making everyone the same
But how the angels
must laugh and sigh
To hear me pleading with you
Needing this you this way
Oh why don't you wanna to be happy with me?
Don't you wannna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon
I'll turn sadder than you ever were
and you'll learn loneliness is worse
You've got to try to stay mine all the way
Don't you wannna to be happy with me?
Don't you wannna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon I'll turn sadder than you ever were and you'll learn loneliness is worse
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's right there with Kate Nash's Pumpkin Soup, well, the first verses at least:
You're chatting to me like we connect
But I don't even know if we're still friends
It's so confusing understanding you
it's making me not want to do
The things that I know I should do
But I trip fast and then I lose
And I hate looking like a fool
I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy I just want your kiss I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy I just want your kiss
The lights are on And someone's home
But I'm not sure if they're alone
There's someone else inside my head
Living there too filling me with dread
This paranoia is distressing
But I spend most of my nights guessing
Are we not, are we together
Will this make our lives much better
I AM NOT GETTING INVOLVED EVER AGAIN WITH A MAN, ANY MAN UNLESS HE PROMISES ME THAT HE ISN'T EVER GOING AWAY AND THAT HE WILL ALWAYS STAY! YES!!! He is going to have to show me if I am willing to save him from drowning, then he is never going to let go and therefore will never go away! Just like in the song
My Number by Tegan and Sara:
So watch your head and then watch the ground
It's a silly time to learn to swim
When you start to drown
It's a silly time to learn to swim
On the way down
If I gave you my number
Would it still be the same
If I saved you from drowning
Promise me you'll never go away
Promise me you'll always stay
What I really want to be singing is
Belly's Seal My Fate:
Untame my brain.
Give me a name.
Hear my faith.
Seal my fate.
Unholy and dirty words I gathered to me,
Thinking the point was keep what's mine for me,
While he's laughing.
Hear my faith.
Seal my fate.
And when you breathe, you breathe for two.
And if you think you've finally found the perfect light,
I hope it's true.
Unholy and dirty words I gathered to me,
Thinking the point was keep what's mine for me,
While he's laughing.
On every track I fractured every back,
Thinking the point was step on every crack,
And he's laughing.
Hear my faith.
Seal my fate.
And when you breathe, you breathe for two.
And if you think you've finally found the perfect light,
I hope it's true.
You say you saw him laughing.
I hope it's true.
I'd like to see it happen.
I hope it's true
'Cause I can feel it.
I hope it's true.....
I would love to be someone's light. I would love people to walk up to me and say, "I never saw so and so laugh so hard! He deserves happiness in his life, you are good for him." Yes siree I would love to hear that! I would love to feel that. Hear my faith. That means that man will also understand my beliefs. Seal my fate. Would mean that we are meant for one another, soul-mates. And when you breathe, you breathe for two. Means we are one and his life is my life., .And if you think you've finally found the perfect light, I hope it's true. Would mean he believes as I do and we are sactioned by The Father and therefore married and happy.
You'll have to excuse me…I need to go cry now. I'll be better tomorrow, until the witching hour rolls around again.
Currently listening : King By Belly
Release date: 1995-02-14
I just noticed the release date on that album. 2/14 Valentines Day, I was married on V-Day in 1982...NOW...I truly am blue. *Heavy sigh* I am my own worse enemy!
Torn
I am sitting her on the Sabbath thinking of how I have so fallen away from the path of righteousness. Of course my demise occurred when I took my eyes off The Father and turned them on myself! I was on Reunion dot com up dating and some how ended up sending my complete yahoo address book contacts a hello. Apparently if there are common friends, they get a hello too! Just to explain the enormity of this I have to tell you that I am the self appointed social director for the CHS Class of 1981, I have a very extensive list of contacts! Out of all these people, I got one response and that was from an underclassmen of the CHS Class of 1982! I remembered him, because at my Junior Prom I had to get up and say a few words and mention a few people, and I couldn't understand his name. Needless to say, I called him the wrong name in the end, several times.
Anyway, this polite underclassmen I knew 25 some odd years ago gives me a shout out and I, being the polite upperclassmen give a shout back. So we are communicating and taking about high school and the good old days and the old neighborhood and people who lived in it. We try to understand why we live in the same neck of the woods, so to speak, and never hung out or even saw one another growing up. Seriously I grew up in Jefferson Hts. and he grew up in Wild Wing Park. The entrance to Wild Wing Park, well, as I type I can see it from my window if I lean to the left. Okay? Strange isn't it? Yeah, yeah, you're thinking it's a small world...and I know you are right, it's just that living in the same house most of my life and never bumping into this man at the neighborhood mom and pop candy store not once in my whole entire life is just bizarre to me! By the way, the mom and pop store was owned and operated by my Aunt and Uncle, I was in that store all the time! Their daughter was my heroine until she went off to Jr High without me, she is two years older than me. So you see why I think this is all just too weird!
We are writing back and forth and he tells me that my letters are more entertaining than television. Okay, I have a fan! My first! So I start writing these long letters. Come to find out, he loves my writing but has a learning disability that makes it hard for him to comprehend and on top of that he has short term memory loss to boot. So my long letters are time consuming for him, but he loves them just the same. Now, if that isn't the sweetest thing! He actually gets upset when I don't write him! He is a true fan. He asked a question, I answered sharing something with him I haven't shared with others in awhile, myself. I had someone who actually wanted to know what I was thinking and liked the way I put my thoughts into words. Yes, he asked personal questions and I would answer "No-holds-barred". I am like that anyway. I'm an open book. I am sure some of my answers shocked him, but they didn't scare him off.
I tell him all about my marriage, he tells me all about his. Our Exes were the ones who showed us the worst of ourselves, and we find together we have found the best of ourselves. I tell him all about my job and how I work from home so basically am in my jammies 24 7. He tells me about his job and how he likes it, but mostly hates it. Well, after chatting on line for 6 weeks or so I suggested he join me and my parents at the local Elk's Club for a St Patty's Day celebration, he accepted. We had a nice time. After that we got together and started hanging out and spending time together. For my birthday he sent me this beautiful bouquet of flowers with a half a dozen pink roses. I invited him to my place and he accepted everything about me and my space. He was comfortable in my company and in my living/working quarters. We watched movies and talked or went for drives. He always opens my car door and holds the door open when we are entering the house or a store. I also found that I can not shop in his presence or he will pay for everything. He spent every spare moment with me and I tried to include his sons into our relationship by inviting them to dinner once a week. He and I would shop and split the bill, I insisted.
My dad had an allergic reaction to a new med and ended up in the hospital. My sister and niece came for a couple of weeks to take care of dad and make memories. My sister loves my boyfriend. I noticed the two of them are a lot alike. It's funny. Anyway when it was time to take them to the airport, it was The Perfect Man who drove my parent's car and paid the tolls on the thruway to and from. I fell asleep as did my mother, and that wonderful man drove got us home safe and sound. My mother welcomed The Perfect man into the family on that ride and told him he could call her mom. I was married for 16 years, she never said that to my husband! Actually, I don't think she has ever told anyone else they could call her that besides her actual children. I'm telling you this man is perfect! He has skills too. ;-)
So here it is May and he is on vacation/voluntary lay off. I see him every day sometimes three times a day and he doesn't leave until late in the morning. He calls me, I call him all the time! We go out to eat almost every night. We went to the movies once. Took his classic Charger for a spin twice. He bought my mother and me hanging plants for Mother's day. I met his parents. We drove to Kingston to shop at Wal*Mart. Another time we drove to Albany to go to the Post Office and then Waldon Books. He even let me bring my Pit Bull once on a drive to Albany! We walked the town of Catskill looking at the Cats on display. We were a couple of junkies who couldn't get high enough off of one another. I'm telling you it was painful not to be together. He admitted to me that he had sworn off marriage, but with me, he could see himself doing it again!
We mainly talked. We discussed Soul Mates and what we thought that meant. We discovered neither of us can stand the news or politics. He is into cars and I happen to like cars. We like the same music, food, movies, and future plans when we retire are the same. We are simpatico. Very compatible. We also use the same odd sayings. Pronounce words the way they are spelled instead of properly. It's a quirk we both have!
I asked him all those pertinent questions of who the last woman he had been with was, how long as it been since... all those personal questions. He informed me of his ex-wife and the woman who he took up with and lived with. He said he hadn't been in a sexually committed relationship in approximately six months. I told him the last man I was with was my husband and we had been separated, this time, for two years, but he was my first and my last. I can honestly say that the man was not skilled at all, not after experiencing The Perfect man. Mercy the man has skills! I finally know what it feels like to have someone else...oh, perhaps I share TOO much. Anyway, we are rolling along and May is fast coming to an end and he is going to have to go back to work. He starts getting these aches and pains. Then low and behold I get this FYI on MySpace.
From:...me
Date: May 31, 2008 10:56 PM
" Just an FYI - I have been dating ----- for almost 2 1/2 years. I just found out about this today and confronted him. We have a house we bought together and were supposed to be moving into it. I'm not trying to cause you problems and I don't want to fight over him. That's not why I'm here. Woman to woman - I just wanted you to be aware of it. ----- is a great guy. He just has some issues."
From:...me
Jun 1, 2008 11:13 AM
"Honestly, I found this out yesterday on my own and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm in such shock. Obviously I wasn't aware it was over if it was. Maybe in his mind it was, but he didn't relay that to me. His things are still here. The fact that we have a house currently under renovations (by him) leaves alot of responsibilities on the table that we need to sort out. He does not like confrontation at all. I think the stress of the house and his job and our relationship got to him and he basically ran. Instead of figuring things out he just blocked this part of his life out and started a new, happy one with all the joy of a new relationship. I just don't think he knows what he wants right now. And only because of the life we started to build here would I even think of taking him back. We are just very tangled up in each others lives right now. I never would have guessed he'd do this in a million years. I didn't want the same thing to happen to you. I told him he needs to do a lot of thinking and figure out what he really wants."
I call my once Perfect Man and I ask him to explain...I ask him to explain why he didn't tell me about this woman when he had the chance and I point blank asked him if there was anyone else after his wife and her best friend. Oh, I didn't tell you that. Yeah, he ended up with his ex-wife's best-friend when she left her husband. She went back to her husband. I guess after -----, she realized he wasn't so bad! That sounds callous and mean...I need to explain.
Per ----- the reason he wasn't with FYI (Michelle) was because she called it quits. She had enough of him. What I didn't mention is my once perfect boyfriend suffers from depression. His body doesn't produce Serotonin so he has to depend on meds to get the job done. However if he adds a pain reliever or muscle relaxer to the mix, it seems to knock his anti-depressants out of whack. When Michelle said he had issues, she wasn't kidding. It's June second and Mr Perfection has to go back to work a place he clearly does not want to go. He calls me on break and tells me things are horrible and he is in so much pain. On top of going back to the job he hates, I have confronted him about Michelle and Michelle has confronted him about me. This is a man who holds everything in. He doesn't like confrontation at all, he just climbs in his shell. Not a fighter at all, unless it is with his son or dad. They are unconditional love type people. I understand now.
I didn't understand when he came to me and said, "I have another two weeks off of work. My back, knees and legs are killing me." I had no idea this man was slipping into a bout of depression. Now, he did tell me that he suffered from depression in the past. He told me his wife brought out the worse in him and she would push his buttons. He even thought of suicide once, but caught himself. He told me all this. So I should not have been surprised. Well, his calls started lessening and I wasn't getting any feed back on MySpace. I would send a comment or an email and he would type back he was feeling awful, thank you for being patient. I was getting angry. I am thinking he is normal and can snap out of this depression like I would or how my sister would. See, we decide enough is enough. There is nothing that can be done about our misfortune and moping isn't going to help. Onward and upward. Give it to God, and for goodness sakes STOP TAKING IT BACK!!!
We have serotonin though! A month ago I had no idea what that all meant. I have done research since then. I mean come on, The Man is Perfect, with this one flaw, okay and the learning disability and memory issues. It's probably all tied together though. We also Have Yahshua, who is our way to Father Yahweh! Now, my poor man feels he needs to find God on top of everything else!
All I know is that I wasn't understanding and I have no patience. I would see him and he would be limping and obviously in deep pain, and he was no longer comfortable in my quarters. The dog would be happy to see him and jump all over him and shower affection on him, and he would grimace in pain. I didn't know how to be. I rained kisses over his face and would tell him I wish I could make it all better. He wished I could too. I hated seeing him and felt uncomfortable not know what to do. Then I started thinking. It's not good to be ignorant and think at the same time! I sent him a couple of emails, and then thought I shouldn't have done that. It isn't going to help! Then I tried to take it all back and ended up sending him another email:
I was being selfish and moody at 2 am in the morning. That is our time and we haven't had "our time” in a month! Sure you have been here, but it wasn't the YOU I fell in love with. I know I can be pushy and mean when I am forced to be patient. I don't like when things are out of my control. I hate not being able to control my thoughts and feelings and that I share them even though I know it isn't your fault. If you do read those other emails and maybe you should so you know what my problem is... just remember one thing:It took me a long time to get over Rick, and I gave that user loser many an opportunity to rectify our relationship, eight years worth of time to be exact! You, when not depressed, are perfect.
I am willing to set you free, IF that is what you need and want. If you need me to work at being patient, I will continue to walk this path. Its rocky and has bits of glass here and there and hurts, but I can walk it. I AM NOT A QUITTER. If you need space to get well, and do not want to deal with me until you are, well… I can give you another 30 days. How about if we don’t see or speak to one another for 30 days. Would that add to your depression or take a burden off. We will honor one another and not be seeing or speaking to other people either! I find you have been seeing someone else… you think you are depressed now, I’ll flatten you!I let my emotions rule my judgment. I don’t want to add to your depression and I don’t want to make things hard for you. At 2 AM in the morning when I am feeling lonely and sad and am hurting I am in the moment and let my Bitch fly. I feel as if you have forced me to get over the situation that has me distrusting you. It is something that added to this jaunt of your depression, because I haven’t gotten over it and can’t let it go. I know all this. I know you beat yourself up for screwing up. I know you hate your job and hate being a quitter just as much...
I drone on, and I know I should keep it short and sweet, the man has a learning disability and short term memory issues! I wouldn't be me though! That was on June 22nd. I've sent him emails and I even have called him a couple of times cause I needed to know he was all right. The more I read the more worried I get. I am looking forward to the day when he is back to the man I fell in love with. I know he is in his shell, a cocoon. I am visualizing him emerging a beautiful butterfly. I know I am a corn ball.
I see him walking into my room and saying, "I'm baaaaaaa-aaaaaaack!" Then taking me in his arms and kissing me like he is a starving man and I am his sustenance. I see him sitting on my day bed his hand in mine as I massage his fingers and hands. He loves to be touched and caressed. He craves my touch and hates when I am not connected to him. He loves a good foot massage and I have no problem in complying. I love his feet, They are soft, well maintained and very clean. They are sensitive to a certain touch as is his shoulder blades. The man is one gorgeous mass of sensuous erotic erogenous zones. I can have him completely relaxed in no time at all. I can touch and caress him for hours, add a bit of a favorite fabric and I can have him writhing on my bed. Nothing sexual about it either...unless I want to go that way. It is up to me if we take it to the next step. I miss that. I miss laying in his arms with my head resting on his chest listening to his heart beat and falling asleep watching a movie. We watched August Rush and both cried at the end so he went out and bought me the movie to add to my collection. I love this man! I hate depression!
I hate people telling me, even though he is depressed, if he truly loved you, he would NEED to hear your voice at least. Not according to what I have read! He isn't the only one in my life either! I have family and friends who suffer from depression. A few of them take meds and a few don't. The ones who don't take meds seem to live in their own little world. The ones who do take meds and try to function in the world I personally think are getting a raw deal. I have experienced depression. I do know the despair and lack of interest in life and the world around you. I also have no chemical imbalances that affect my moods, just my metabolism. Let me tell you! I much rather have a weight problem than mental health issues. Now I know that a few of my family member's disagree! They like not having to be part of the "norm". It's an excuse not to have to deal with the big bad world. If I had a person who would take care of all my bills and made sure I was provided for, I think I may join them!
I look at Maureen. No short term memory. Literally if you interrupt her while she is trying to bake, she will throw cups of sugar and flour away and start measuring again! It's awful!
My siblings and especially my mother, if you interrupt them when they are in the middle of telling you something, they will lose their train of thought.
Then there is my niece Bonnie who can remember details from when she was like four years old! She has a steel trap for a memory.
I, on the other hand, have an awful memory. I can remember where I am at when explaining details of an event, EVEN if interrupted. I can remember things that happened that were important. I do not remember much of my childhood though. I remember some, but not a whole heck of a lot! If I don't write things down, the memory is gone after a few years. I remember the birth of all three of my children. I remember the nurse bringing me the wrong baby in the hospital and arguing with her until she finally grabbed my name bracelet to make a point, PROVING MINE instead! That was Corey. I remember… I wish I didn't and I am not getting into that. It depresses me.
See, I refuse to be depressed. To me it is a waste of time and energy. I can either choose to wallow or I can choose to be happy. I choose to be happy. I can do that. I know several people who have this philosophy. I prefer people who are happy go lucky and can spank the proverbial monkey and get on with their lives. Life is too short and if you understand what I am saying and where I am coming from, then you do not suffer from DEPRESSION! Good for you! Praise Yahweh, glory HalleluYah!
Now, what if you are one of the 1 in 17 Americans that do? What if you have no serotonin? Well, I looked this info up on my insurance website and this is what it states:
Depression can make you feel hopeless and worthless and cause you to lose interest in everyday activities such as work, hobbies or sex. Depression is a common illness that costs billions in health care costs and lost productivity in the United States each year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
Nearly 25 percent of U.S. adults have depression at some point. Many things can trigger depression, such as serious illness, divorce or the death of a loved one. Often a cause can't be found.
Alone or along with psychotherapy, antidepressants are widely used for depression. More than 80 percent of those with depression feel better when they get the right treatment, according to NIMH.
How drugs help depression
The brain communicates thoughts and feelings through special chemicals that send messages.
Two important chemical messengers, called neurotransmitters, are serotonin and norepinephrine.
There is a strong connection between the amount of these chemicals in the brain and mood. If levels of serotonin and norepinephrine get too low, people usually feel depressed. Drugs can help improve levels of these brain chemicals.
The newer antidepressants, such as the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), are popular because they have fewer side effects than older medications, which include tricyclics and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs). Although both generations of drugs help relieve depression, some people will respond to one type of drug, but not another.
Certain antidepressants can interact with other prescription and over-the-counter medications, herbs, alcohol and even foods. Talk with your doctor or pharmacist before starting treatment to find out about taking them with other substances and other important precautions.
Antidepressants
What follows is a breakdown of common antidepressants. Your doctor may give you others that are either not on this list or are not specifically approved for depression. You may have side effects not listed here. Call your doctor immediately if you are concerned about your side effects.
Children, teens and adults being treated with antidepressants, particularly anyone being treated for depression, should be watched closely for worsening of depression and for increased suicidal thinking or behavior. Close watching may be especially important early in treatment or when the dose is changed - either increased or decreased. Bring up your concerns immediately with a doctor.
SSRIs
SSRIs, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, increase the brain's level of serotonin to improve mood. They make serotonin more available to the receiving nerve by preventing the return of the chemical serotonin to the sending nerve. SSRIs can help with depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social phobia, premenstrual dsyphoric disorder and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). These drugs generally have fewer bothersome side effects than other types of antidepressants and work well for many people. Side effects usually go away; however SSRIs tend to cause sexual problems that may be ongoing. Call your doctor immediately if you are concerned about any side effect. SSRIs may worsen symptoms of bipolar disorder.
Paxil may increase the risk for birth defects, particularly heart defects, when women take it during the first three months of pregnancy, according to a 2005 advisory from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The FDA is waiting for the results of recent studies to better understand the higher risk. Discuss with your doctor about the health risks of Paxil if you plan to become pregnant or are in the first three months of pregnancy. You may want to consider taking a different antidepressant. Do not stop taking the drug without first talking to your doctor.
Common side effects of SSRIs include:
Headache
Tremor
Nervousness
Trouble concentrating
Nausea
Diarrhea
Dry mouth
Changes in weight or hunger
Weakness
Increased sweating
Sleeping problems
Sexual problems
Now what if you are one of the people who have this condition? Your body does not make serotonin? So you are constantly playing with meds trying to maintain a happy life. You have yo-yo mood swings. You may be walking high on cloud nine and then one little thing hits you and you obsess on it and feel bummed and then your body starts to hurt, and then something else goes wrong, and now you are getting headaches on top of everything else. Yes. This is depression. I only know this because I have seen it in loved ones! I hate that I can not be a part of the getting better process. I hate the fact that I can't see if things are improving or getting worse. I read all this stuff and then worry. I want to snap my fingers and have everything back to the way it was before the depression made its presence known.
What is even worse is that I have an awful feeling in my gut that people who have this condition, think they are unworthy of happiness. That they are burdens. More trouble than they are worth. So when they are well, they want to please and prove they have merit. They are happy pleasing other's because now they are proving that they do have value and much to offer. They CAN function in the world and be an asset! Then their body gets use to the antidepressants meds and one little thing goes wrong and soon the black hole of oppression is nipping at their feet trying to trip them in to the Valley of Depression again.
I wonder if people who suffer from this kind of depression think they are such burdens they should not force themselves on other people. I wonder how many people live on their own, all alone so that they don't feel they are being such downers to their friends and loved ones. I wonder how many are taking meds and then they stop working so the doctor gives them something else, but no one is home to monitor the effects and the new meds make things worse! The person taking the meds doesn't realize this; they only know that they are miserable and tired of feeling that way so that person takes their own life.
Now the normal people in life are thinking, not me man, I would never be able to end my own life. How the hell do you know? What if… I am not playing that game. I pray I am never that depressed. I pray nothing happens to me that will cause a chemical imbalance in me. That I am never poisoned or exposed to something that would disrupt my, my… that would change "ME"!
I feel bad for these people. I know when I am feeling bad; I do not want to make others suffer with my attitude. I imagine that is how these people feel too. That they are not fun and don't want to put on a front. I know quite a few clowns who are actually just putting on a show so you wouldn't know! It's a decoy. I had a girlfriend who had the greatest sense of humor, I had no idea she was a closet drinker since age 13! She would flit from man to man looking for love and respect and kept getting treated like a door mat. No matter who she tried to be for that man, none of them ever made her happy. She'd move on. Try on a new hat, which would fail, because she can't be herself. I don't think she knows who she is any more. I think that is how most depressed people are. They don't think they are worth the trouble that comes with them.
I disagree. It is too cold and callous in this world. Everyone is entitled to acceptance and love. Now, I do not accept Charles Manson, but I'll be dipped if that Crazy isn't accepted and loved just as he is by his "family". So why can't my girlfriend and other loved ones I know who suffer from depression be loved an accepted? They can, they just have to believe they deserve it and share their lives with at least one other person totally open, honest and bared. I know it may hurt to be open and honest at first, but after you get use to getting stuff off your chest and not keeping it all bottled up inside of you… I promise you will feel much better. Being that intimate with someone can be frightening, after all, what if they throw all that stuff back in your face? Well, I don't believe in double standards, so if you give you take and if you dish you have to eat what is dish back at you! If you are willing to listen to other's problems then they should be able to listen to yours! Even if the problem is your boyfriend/girlfriend does or says something that may seem trivial, but it isn't to you! They are going to continue in that behavior until you alert them to the fact it bothers you!!!
Now, I know most of us confide in our mothers or fathers…but if you want to have a life with another person as a spouse, you are going to have to expose yourself. How can you live with a person if you can not communicate with that person? How can there be trust if you do not communicate honestly? If you want a relationship to work, and there is a person who is willing to accept you as is, and you feel you are more trouble than you are worth, however that person is still willing to be there for you; is praying for you; trying to be supportive and understanding even patient! Don't you think that that person has showed you that they are worthy of your trust and that you should communicate with them… no matter how uncomfortable it is for you? Especially if the person you are having a relationship with understand the problem. Understands you when you are on an even keel and gets where you are coming from; speaks your language so to speak? Well, if there is someone out there who has all these attributes, maybe you should try talking to them, before you push them away.
On the other hand if you are the person who is waiting for that person to get better, and have offered space…even though you are regretting it now, but the ball is in your partner's corner and there it will stay unless they wants to communicate with you. You have to trust that the person who is trying to over come the depression is doing well and is relieved they don't have to worry about putting on a happy face for your benefit. They aren't feeling pressure from you, and therefore are better off without you. When they are ready to take back up in the relationship, they will call or write or show up on your door step.
In my case, I hope my loved one knows they are welcomed back any time! I am afraid that it is My Loved Ones way to just walk away from his women. He walked away from Michelle and they have a house together! I know that his ex-wife got more money than she should have from him, and that her best friend got a car out of their relationship. I have a few of his things and I am in debted to him, but nothing as big as a car or bigger like a house and property. Is this his MO? Are we over and I just don't know it yet? I feel like my heart is being torn to bits. It took me ten years to get over my husband and accept that my marriage was a failure. Now I am back to waiting...but is it in vain? I don't know? I am so torn. Do I wait...for how long? I hear so much advice. If I just knew for sure that he still loved me. He took that 30 day break! The following is from "him"!
"I wish I could tell you everything will be alright. As of right now I feel awful, and I'm honestly surprised I am writing. My back is sore as hell, My stomach is sour, I have a headache, and so on and so on. I'm a mess!! I check "My Space" when you send messages, and blogs and such. I just don't have the will to want to write. I know I have to write now though, and I may or may not make sense. I told you before that I didn't and don't want to hurt you, but that is what I am doing. To hopefully put your mind at ease, I am "NOT" back with Michelle. I swear to that. I don't even enjoy the things I like right now. I get an idea that I want to do something to cheer me up and the thought leaves my head almost as fast as it enters. I din't just decide to "wait" to go to my Dr. about whats going on with me. I can't always tell when I am actually depressed or just feeling bummed. I realize something is wrong now, and thats why I went to seek help. I know I need it, and I know my problem isn't going to go away on it's own. Maybe we do need time apart. I know I can't rationalize my judgements and decisions. I can't expect you to fully understand what I am going through. You haven't known me long enough to learn everything about what I am like. Does this happen often to me? Hard to say. I wish I could say it doesn't, but then I would be giving false hopes. Love you too."
That was June 22th. I did call his house once, but that was to give his younger son his birthday present. I did write him too. When he didn't write back, I called. He said he is still feeling horrible. I lasted a whole week and had to call him again! I always close my phone calls with. Love you, bye. For him I would say, "I love you! Love you bye." The last conversation was the 4th of July. I just wanted to see if he wanted to try and take part in the day. He said not really, I closed my usual way and this time he did not say it back. So you see, I don't know how he feels about me. He is a mess, but I still love him. Doesn't my calling reassure him I am here and supporting him? Or am I bothering him by forcing myself on him. I have been miserable since that phone call. I don't know what to do. I said I would give the man 30 days. I lied. Not intentionally, I apparently don't have it in me to stay away. Well, I am not going to write, or call or send him any more cards through snail mail or email for that fact. I will give him the 30 days and if I do not hear from him then I am going to stop waiting and move on with my life. I will return his belongings and make arrangements to pay him back what I owe him and then be done with him if that is what he wants. I am sick of being torn.
It is Sabbath and I have been sitting here thinking about the Love of My Life when I should have been praying and studying the scriptures. I haven't been under the covering, I am such a mess. How can I be of any help to my man if I am torn between him and God? God has to come first, I know that. Perhaps if I got off this computer and on to my knees My Man would be healed! Well, it is now 10:45 PM Sabbath is over, but it is never too late to pray! I am going to give it all to God, and I am not taking it back this time. The Father's will be done. Question is, do I have to count 30 days from the 22nd of June or give him a full 30 days from the 4th of July? I will compromise. His birthday is July 27th. If I do not hear from him by then I will call and wish him a happy birthday and see what his reception towards me is then. Until then, Father? I took it back didn't I? Mercy! Well, that is my plan, Father Yahweh, in Yahshua's name I ask that your will and blessings be given on my days. I pray it is your will for me to have a help mate and a husband that serves and honors you and takes care of me they way I believe you want a woman to be taken care of. I treat my man as a King and he treats me as his Queen and together we serve and worship You. That is what I want more than anything. If C---- is not the one for me, please put the man you do want me with in my life. Like I said before, it would be great if my intended were to walk up to me and say, "Hi. Father Yahweh sent me." but only the true man you have planned for me would be able to say that. I certainly don't need Satan messing with me. Not now. So I cover this blog in the blood of Yahshua and ask that a sphere of angels surround and protect me and my words and thoughts in Yahshua's name, Amen!
Anyway, this polite underclassmen I knew 25 some odd years ago gives me a shout out and I, being the polite upperclassmen give a shout back. So we are communicating and taking about high school and the good old days and the old neighborhood and people who lived in it. We try to understand why we live in the same neck of the woods, so to speak, and never hung out or even saw one another growing up. Seriously I grew up in Jefferson Hts. and he grew up in Wild Wing Park. The entrance to Wild Wing Park, well, as I type I can see it from my window if I lean to the left. Okay? Strange isn't it? Yeah, yeah, you're thinking it's a small world...and I know you are right, it's just that living in the same house most of my life and never bumping into this man at the neighborhood mom and pop candy store not once in my whole entire life is just bizarre to me! By the way, the mom and pop store was owned and operated by my Aunt and Uncle, I was in that store all the time! Their daughter was my heroine until she went off to Jr High without me, she is two years older than me. So you see why I think this is all just too weird!
We are writing back and forth and he tells me that my letters are more entertaining than television. Okay, I have a fan! My first! So I start writing these long letters. Come to find out, he loves my writing but has a learning disability that makes it hard for him to comprehend and on top of that he has short term memory loss to boot. So my long letters are time consuming for him, but he loves them just the same. Now, if that isn't the sweetest thing! He actually gets upset when I don't write him! He is a true fan. He asked a question, I answered sharing something with him I haven't shared with others in awhile, myself. I had someone who actually wanted to know what I was thinking and liked the way I put my thoughts into words. Yes, he asked personal questions and I would answer "No-holds-barred". I am like that anyway. I'm an open book. I am sure some of my answers shocked him, but they didn't scare him off.
I tell him all about my marriage, he tells me all about his. Our Exes were the ones who showed us the worst of ourselves, and we find together we have found the best of ourselves. I tell him all about my job and how I work from home so basically am in my jammies 24 7. He tells me about his job and how he likes it, but mostly hates it. Well, after chatting on line for 6 weeks or so I suggested he join me and my parents at the local Elk's Club for a St Patty's Day celebration, he accepted. We had a nice time. After that we got together and started hanging out and spending time together. For my birthday he sent me this beautiful bouquet of flowers with a half a dozen pink roses. I invited him to my place and he accepted everything about me and my space. He was comfortable in my company and in my living/working quarters. We watched movies and talked or went for drives. He always opens my car door and holds the door open when we are entering the house or a store. I also found that I can not shop in his presence or he will pay for everything. He spent every spare moment with me and I tried to include his sons into our relationship by inviting them to dinner once a week. He and I would shop and split the bill, I insisted.
My dad had an allergic reaction to a new med and ended up in the hospital. My sister and niece came for a couple of weeks to take care of dad and make memories. My sister loves my boyfriend. I noticed the two of them are a lot alike. It's funny. Anyway when it was time to take them to the airport, it was The Perfect Man who drove my parent's car and paid the tolls on the thruway to and from. I fell asleep as did my mother, and that wonderful man drove got us home safe and sound. My mother welcomed The Perfect man into the family on that ride and told him he could call her mom. I was married for 16 years, she never said that to my husband! Actually, I don't think she has ever told anyone else they could call her that besides her actual children. I'm telling you this man is perfect! He has skills too. ;-)
So here it is May and he is on vacation/voluntary lay off. I see him every day sometimes three times a day and he doesn't leave until late in the morning. He calls me, I call him all the time! We go out to eat almost every night. We went to the movies once. Took his classic Charger for a spin twice. He bought my mother and me hanging plants for Mother's day. I met his parents. We drove to Kingston to shop at Wal*Mart. Another time we drove to Albany to go to the Post Office and then Waldon Books. He even let me bring my Pit Bull once on a drive to Albany! We walked the town of Catskill looking at the Cats on display. We were a couple of junkies who couldn't get high enough off of one another. I'm telling you it was painful not to be together. He admitted to me that he had sworn off marriage, but with me, he could see himself doing it again!
We mainly talked. We discussed Soul Mates and what we thought that meant. We discovered neither of us can stand the news or politics. He is into cars and I happen to like cars. We like the same music, food, movies, and future plans when we retire are the same. We are simpatico. Very compatible. We also use the same odd sayings. Pronounce words the way they are spelled instead of properly. It's a quirk we both have!
I asked him all those pertinent questions of who the last woman he had been with was, how long as it been since... all those personal questions. He informed me of his ex-wife and the woman who he took up with and lived with. He said he hadn't been in a sexually committed relationship in approximately six months. I told him the last man I was with was my husband and we had been separated, this time, for two years, but he was my first and my last. I can honestly say that the man was not skilled at all, not after experiencing The Perfect man. Mercy the man has skills! I finally know what it feels like to have someone else...oh, perhaps I share TOO much. Anyway, we are rolling along and May is fast coming to an end and he is going to have to go back to work. He starts getting these aches and pains. Then low and behold I get this FYI on MySpace.
From:...me
Date: May 31, 2008 10:56 PM
" Just an FYI - I have been dating ----- for almost 2 1/2 years. I just found out about this today and confronted him. We have a house we bought together and were supposed to be moving into it. I'm not trying to cause you problems and I don't want to fight over him. That's not why I'm here. Woman to woman - I just wanted you to be aware of it. ----- is a great guy. He just has some issues."
From:...me
Jun 1, 2008 11:13 AM
"Honestly, I found this out yesterday on my own and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm in such shock. Obviously I wasn't aware it was over if it was. Maybe in his mind it was, but he didn't relay that to me. His things are still here. The fact that we have a house currently under renovations (by him) leaves alot of responsibilities on the table that we need to sort out. He does not like confrontation at all. I think the stress of the house and his job and our relationship got to him and he basically ran. Instead of figuring things out he just blocked this part of his life out and started a new, happy one with all the joy of a new relationship. I just don't think he knows what he wants right now. And only because of the life we started to build here would I even think of taking him back. We are just very tangled up in each others lives right now. I never would have guessed he'd do this in a million years. I didn't want the same thing to happen to you. I told him he needs to do a lot of thinking and figure out what he really wants."
I call my once Perfect Man and I ask him to explain...I ask him to explain why he didn't tell me about this woman when he had the chance and I point blank asked him if there was anyone else after his wife and her best friend. Oh, I didn't tell you that. Yeah, he ended up with his ex-wife's best-friend when she left her husband. She went back to her husband. I guess after -----, she realized he wasn't so bad! That sounds callous and mean...I need to explain.
Per ----- the reason he wasn't with FYI (Michelle) was because she called it quits. She had enough of him. What I didn't mention is my once perfect boyfriend suffers from depression. His body doesn't produce Serotonin so he has to depend on meds to get the job done. However if he adds a pain reliever or muscle relaxer to the mix, it seems to knock his anti-depressants out of whack. When Michelle said he had issues, she wasn't kidding. It's June second and Mr Perfection has to go back to work a place he clearly does not want to go. He calls me on break and tells me things are horrible and he is in so much pain. On top of going back to the job he hates, I have confronted him about Michelle and Michelle has confronted him about me. This is a man who holds everything in. He doesn't like confrontation at all, he just climbs in his shell. Not a fighter at all, unless it is with his son or dad. They are unconditional love type people. I understand now.
I didn't understand when he came to me and said, "I have another two weeks off of work. My back, knees and legs are killing me." I had no idea this man was slipping into a bout of depression. Now, he did tell me that he suffered from depression in the past. He told me his wife brought out the worse in him and she would push his buttons. He even thought of suicide once, but caught himself. He told me all this. So I should not have been surprised. Well, his calls started lessening and I wasn't getting any feed back on MySpace. I would send a comment or an email and he would type back he was feeling awful, thank you for being patient. I was getting angry. I am thinking he is normal and can snap out of this depression like I would or how my sister would. See, we decide enough is enough. There is nothing that can be done about our misfortune and moping isn't going to help. Onward and upward. Give it to God, and for goodness sakes STOP TAKING IT BACK!!!
We have serotonin though! A month ago I had no idea what that all meant. I have done research since then. I mean come on, The Man is Perfect, with this one flaw, okay and the learning disability and memory issues. It's probably all tied together though. We also Have Yahshua, who is our way to Father Yahweh! Now, my poor man feels he needs to find God on top of everything else!
All I know is that I wasn't understanding and I have no patience. I would see him and he would be limping and obviously in deep pain, and he was no longer comfortable in my quarters. The dog would be happy to see him and jump all over him and shower affection on him, and he would grimace in pain. I didn't know how to be. I rained kisses over his face and would tell him I wish I could make it all better. He wished I could too. I hated seeing him and felt uncomfortable not know what to do. Then I started thinking. It's not good to be ignorant and think at the same time! I sent him a couple of emails, and then thought I shouldn't have done that. It isn't going to help! Then I tried to take it all back and ended up sending him another email:
I was being selfish and moody at 2 am in the morning. That is our time and we haven't had "our time” in a month! Sure you have been here, but it wasn't the YOU I fell in love with. I know I can be pushy and mean when I am forced to be patient. I don't like when things are out of my control. I hate not being able to control my thoughts and feelings and that I share them even though I know it isn't your fault. If you do read those other emails and maybe you should so you know what my problem is... just remember one thing:It took me a long time to get over Rick, and I gave that user loser many an opportunity to rectify our relationship, eight years worth of time to be exact! You, when not depressed, are perfect.
I am willing to set you free, IF that is what you need and want. If you need me to work at being patient, I will continue to walk this path. Its rocky and has bits of glass here and there and hurts, but I can walk it. I AM NOT A QUITTER. If you need space to get well, and do not want to deal with me until you are, well… I can give you another 30 days. How about if we don’t see or speak to one another for 30 days. Would that add to your depression or take a burden off. We will honor one another and not be seeing or speaking to other people either! I find you have been seeing someone else… you think you are depressed now, I’ll flatten you!I let my emotions rule my judgment. I don’t want to add to your depression and I don’t want to make things hard for you. At 2 AM in the morning when I am feeling lonely and sad and am hurting I am in the moment and let my Bitch fly. I feel as if you have forced me to get over the situation that has me distrusting you. It is something that added to this jaunt of your depression, because I haven’t gotten over it and can’t let it go. I know all this. I know you beat yourself up for screwing up. I know you hate your job and hate being a quitter just as much...
I drone on, and I know I should keep it short and sweet, the man has a learning disability and short term memory issues! I wouldn't be me though! That was on June 22nd. I've sent him emails and I even have called him a couple of times cause I needed to know he was all right. The more I read the more worried I get. I am looking forward to the day when he is back to the man I fell in love with. I know he is in his shell, a cocoon. I am visualizing him emerging a beautiful butterfly. I know I am a corn ball.
I see him walking into my room and saying, "I'm baaaaaaa-aaaaaaack!" Then taking me in his arms and kissing me like he is a starving man and I am his sustenance. I see him sitting on my day bed his hand in mine as I massage his fingers and hands. He loves to be touched and caressed. He craves my touch and hates when I am not connected to him. He loves a good foot massage and I have no problem in complying. I love his feet, They are soft, well maintained and very clean. They are sensitive to a certain touch as is his shoulder blades. The man is one gorgeous mass of sensuous erotic erogenous zones. I can have him completely relaxed in no time at all. I can touch and caress him for hours, add a bit of a favorite fabric and I can have him writhing on my bed. Nothing sexual about it either...unless I want to go that way. It is up to me if we take it to the next step. I miss that. I miss laying in his arms with my head resting on his chest listening to his heart beat and falling asleep watching a movie. We watched August Rush and both cried at the end so he went out and bought me the movie to add to my collection. I love this man! I hate depression!
I hate people telling me, even though he is depressed, if he truly loved you, he would NEED to hear your voice at least. Not according to what I have read! He isn't the only one in my life either! I have family and friends who suffer from depression. A few of them take meds and a few don't. The ones who don't take meds seem to live in their own little world. The ones who do take meds and try to function in the world I personally think are getting a raw deal. I have experienced depression. I do know the despair and lack of interest in life and the world around you. I also have no chemical imbalances that affect my moods, just my metabolism. Let me tell you! I much rather have a weight problem than mental health issues. Now I know that a few of my family member's disagree! They like not having to be part of the "norm". It's an excuse not to have to deal with the big bad world. If I had a person who would take care of all my bills and made sure I was provided for, I think I may join them!
I look at Maureen. No short term memory. Literally if you interrupt her while she is trying to bake, she will throw cups of sugar and flour away and start measuring again! It's awful!
My siblings and especially my mother, if you interrupt them when they are in the middle of telling you something, they will lose their train of thought.
Then there is my niece Bonnie who can remember details from when she was like four years old! She has a steel trap for a memory.
I, on the other hand, have an awful memory. I can remember where I am at when explaining details of an event, EVEN if interrupted. I can remember things that happened that were important. I do not remember much of my childhood though. I remember some, but not a whole heck of a lot! If I don't write things down, the memory is gone after a few years. I remember the birth of all three of my children. I remember the nurse bringing me the wrong baby in the hospital and arguing with her until she finally grabbed my name bracelet to make a point, PROVING MINE instead! That was Corey. I remember… I wish I didn't and I am not getting into that. It depresses me.
See, I refuse to be depressed. To me it is a waste of time and energy. I can either choose to wallow or I can choose to be happy. I choose to be happy. I can do that. I know several people who have this philosophy. I prefer people who are happy go lucky and can spank the proverbial monkey and get on with their lives. Life is too short and if you understand what I am saying and where I am coming from, then you do not suffer from DEPRESSION! Good for you! Praise Yahweh, glory HalleluYah!
Now, what if you are one of the 1 in 17 Americans that do? What if you have no serotonin? Well, I looked this info up on my insurance website and this is what it states:
Depression can make you feel hopeless and worthless and cause you to lose interest in everyday activities such as work, hobbies or sex. Depression is a common illness that costs billions in health care costs and lost productivity in the United States each year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)
Nearly 25 percent of U.S. adults have depression at some point. Many things can trigger depression, such as serious illness, divorce or the death of a loved one. Often a cause can't be found.
Alone or along with psychotherapy, antidepressants are widely used for depression. More than 80 percent of those with depression feel better when they get the right treatment, according to NIMH.
How drugs help depression
The brain communicates thoughts and feelings through special chemicals that send messages.
Two important chemical messengers, called neurotransmitters, are serotonin and norepinephrine.
There is a strong connection between the amount of these chemicals in the brain and mood. If levels of serotonin and norepinephrine get too low, people usually feel depressed. Drugs can help improve levels of these brain chemicals.
The newer antidepressants, such as the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs), are popular because they have fewer side effects than older medications, which include tricyclics and monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs). Although both generations of drugs help relieve depression, some people will respond to one type of drug, but not another.
Certain antidepressants can interact with other prescription and over-the-counter medications, herbs, alcohol and even foods. Talk with your doctor or pharmacist before starting treatment to find out about taking them with other substances and other important precautions.
Antidepressants
What follows is a breakdown of common antidepressants. Your doctor may give you others that are either not on this list or are not specifically approved for depression. You may have side effects not listed here. Call your doctor immediately if you are concerned about your side effects.
Children, teens and adults being treated with antidepressants, particularly anyone being treated for depression, should be watched closely for worsening of depression and for increased suicidal thinking or behavior. Close watching may be especially important early in treatment or when the dose is changed - either increased or decreased. Bring up your concerns immediately with a doctor.
SSRIs
SSRIs, or selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, increase the brain's level of serotonin to improve mood. They make serotonin more available to the receiving nerve by preventing the return of the chemical serotonin to the sending nerve. SSRIs can help with depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social phobia, premenstrual dsyphoric disorder and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). These drugs generally have fewer bothersome side effects than other types of antidepressants and work well for many people. Side effects usually go away; however SSRIs tend to cause sexual problems that may be ongoing. Call your doctor immediately if you are concerned about any side effect. SSRIs may worsen symptoms of bipolar disorder.
Paxil may increase the risk for birth defects, particularly heart defects, when women take it during the first three months of pregnancy, according to a 2005 advisory from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The FDA is waiting for the results of recent studies to better understand the higher risk. Discuss with your doctor about the health risks of Paxil if you plan to become pregnant or are in the first three months of pregnancy. You may want to consider taking a different antidepressant. Do not stop taking the drug without first talking to your doctor.
Common side effects of SSRIs include:
Headache
Tremor
Nervousness
Trouble concentrating
Nausea
Diarrhea
Dry mouth
Changes in weight or hunger
Weakness
Increased sweating
Sleeping problems
Sexual problems
Now what if you are one of the people who have this condition? Your body does not make serotonin? So you are constantly playing with meds trying to maintain a happy life. You have yo-yo mood swings. You may be walking high on cloud nine and then one little thing hits you and you obsess on it and feel bummed and then your body starts to hurt, and then something else goes wrong, and now you are getting headaches on top of everything else. Yes. This is depression. I only know this because I have seen it in loved ones! I hate that I can not be a part of the getting better process. I hate the fact that I can't see if things are improving or getting worse. I read all this stuff and then worry. I want to snap my fingers and have everything back to the way it was before the depression made its presence known.
What is even worse is that I have an awful feeling in my gut that people who have this condition, think they are unworthy of happiness. That they are burdens. More trouble than they are worth. So when they are well, they want to please and prove they have merit. They are happy pleasing other's because now they are proving that they do have value and much to offer. They CAN function in the world and be an asset! Then their body gets use to the antidepressants meds and one little thing goes wrong and soon the black hole of oppression is nipping at their feet trying to trip them in to the Valley of Depression again.
I wonder if people who suffer from this kind of depression think they are such burdens they should not force themselves on other people. I wonder how many people live on their own, all alone so that they don't feel they are being such downers to their friends and loved ones. I wonder how many are taking meds and then they stop working so the doctor gives them something else, but no one is home to monitor the effects and the new meds make things worse! The person taking the meds doesn't realize this; they only know that they are miserable and tired of feeling that way so that person takes their own life.
Now the normal people in life are thinking, not me man, I would never be able to end my own life. How the hell do you know? What if… I am not playing that game. I pray I am never that depressed. I pray nothing happens to me that will cause a chemical imbalance in me. That I am never poisoned or exposed to something that would disrupt my, my… that would change "ME"!
I feel bad for these people. I know when I am feeling bad; I do not want to make others suffer with my attitude. I imagine that is how these people feel too. That they are not fun and don't want to put on a front. I know quite a few clowns who are actually just putting on a show so you wouldn't know! It's a decoy. I had a girlfriend who had the greatest sense of humor, I had no idea she was a closet drinker since age 13! She would flit from man to man looking for love and respect and kept getting treated like a door mat. No matter who she tried to be for that man, none of them ever made her happy. She'd move on. Try on a new hat, which would fail, because she can't be herself. I don't think she knows who she is any more. I think that is how most depressed people are. They don't think they are worth the trouble that comes with them.
I disagree. It is too cold and callous in this world. Everyone is entitled to acceptance and love. Now, I do not accept Charles Manson, but I'll be dipped if that Crazy isn't accepted and loved just as he is by his "family". So why can't my girlfriend and other loved ones I know who suffer from depression be loved an accepted? They can, they just have to believe they deserve it and share their lives with at least one other person totally open, honest and bared. I know it may hurt to be open and honest at first, but after you get use to getting stuff off your chest and not keeping it all bottled up inside of you… I promise you will feel much better. Being that intimate with someone can be frightening, after all, what if they throw all that stuff back in your face? Well, I don't believe in double standards, so if you give you take and if you dish you have to eat what is dish back at you! If you are willing to listen to other's problems then they should be able to listen to yours! Even if the problem is your boyfriend/girlfriend does or says something that may seem trivial, but it isn't to you! They are going to continue in that behavior until you alert them to the fact it bothers you!!!
Now, I know most of us confide in our mothers or fathers…but if you want to have a life with another person as a spouse, you are going to have to expose yourself. How can you live with a person if you can not communicate with that person? How can there be trust if you do not communicate honestly? If you want a relationship to work, and there is a person who is willing to accept you as is, and you feel you are more trouble than you are worth, however that person is still willing to be there for you; is praying for you; trying to be supportive and understanding even patient! Don't you think that that person has showed you that they are worthy of your trust and that you should communicate with them… no matter how uncomfortable it is for you? Especially if the person you are having a relationship with understand the problem. Understands you when you are on an even keel and gets where you are coming from; speaks your language so to speak? Well, if there is someone out there who has all these attributes, maybe you should try talking to them, before you push them away.
On the other hand if you are the person who is waiting for that person to get better, and have offered space…even though you are regretting it now, but the ball is in your partner's corner and there it will stay unless they wants to communicate with you. You have to trust that the person who is trying to over come the depression is doing well and is relieved they don't have to worry about putting on a happy face for your benefit. They aren't feeling pressure from you, and therefore are better off without you. When they are ready to take back up in the relationship, they will call or write or show up on your door step.
In my case, I hope my loved one knows they are welcomed back any time! I am afraid that it is My Loved Ones way to just walk away from his women. He walked away from Michelle and they have a house together! I know that his ex-wife got more money than she should have from him, and that her best friend got a car out of their relationship. I have a few of his things and I am in debted to him, but nothing as big as a car or bigger like a house and property. Is this his MO? Are we over and I just don't know it yet? I feel like my heart is being torn to bits. It took me ten years to get over my husband and accept that my marriage was a failure. Now I am back to waiting...but is it in vain? I don't know? I am so torn. Do I wait...for how long? I hear so much advice. If I just knew for sure that he still loved me. He took that 30 day break! The following is from "him"!
"I wish I could tell you everything will be alright. As of right now I feel awful, and I'm honestly surprised I am writing. My back is sore as hell, My stomach is sour, I have a headache, and so on and so on. I'm a mess!! I check "My Space" when you send messages, and blogs and such. I just don't have the will to want to write. I know I have to write now though, and I may or may not make sense. I told you before that I didn't and don't want to hurt you, but that is what I am doing. To hopefully put your mind at ease, I am "NOT" back with Michelle. I swear to that. I don't even enjoy the things I like right now. I get an idea that I want to do something to cheer me up and the thought leaves my head almost as fast as it enters. I din't just decide to "wait" to go to my Dr. about whats going on with me. I can't always tell when I am actually depressed or just feeling bummed. I realize something is wrong now, and thats why I went to seek help. I know I need it, and I know my problem isn't going to go away on it's own. Maybe we do need time apart. I know I can't rationalize my judgements and decisions. I can't expect you to fully understand what I am going through. You haven't known me long enough to learn everything about what I am like. Does this happen often to me? Hard to say. I wish I could say it doesn't, but then I would be giving false hopes. Love you too."
That was June 22th. I did call his house once, but that was to give his younger son his birthday present. I did write him too. When he didn't write back, I called. He said he is still feeling horrible. I lasted a whole week and had to call him again! I always close my phone calls with. Love you, bye. For him I would say, "I love you! Love you bye." The last conversation was the 4th of July. I just wanted to see if he wanted to try and take part in the day. He said not really, I closed my usual way and this time he did not say it back. So you see, I don't know how he feels about me. He is a mess, but I still love him. Doesn't my calling reassure him I am here and supporting him? Or am I bothering him by forcing myself on him. I have been miserable since that phone call. I don't know what to do. I said I would give the man 30 days. I lied. Not intentionally, I apparently don't have it in me to stay away. Well, I am not going to write, or call or send him any more cards through snail mail or email for that fact. I will give him the 30 days and if I do not hear from him then I am going to stop waiting and move on with my life. I will return his belongings and make arrangements to pay him back what I owe him and then be done with him if that is what he wants. I am sick of being torn.
It is Sabbath and I have been sitting here thinking about the Love of My Life when I should have been praying and studying the scriptures. I haven't been under the covering, I am such a mess. How can I be of any help to my man if I am torn between him and God? God has to come first, I know that. Perhaps if I got off this computer and on to my knees My Man would be healed! Well, it is now 10:45 PM Sabbath is over, but it is never too late to pray! I am going to give it all to God, and I am not taking it back this time. The Father's will be done. Question is, do I have to count 30 days from the 22nd of June or give him a full 30 days from the 4th of July? I will compromise. His birthday is July 27th. If I do not hear from him by then I will call and wish him a happy birthday and see what his reception towards me is then. Until then, Father? I took it back didn't I? Mercy! Well, that is my plan, Father Yahweh, in Yahshua's name I ask that your will and blessings be given on my days. I pray it is your will for me to have a help mate and a husband that serves and honors you and takes care of me they way I believe you want a woman to be taken care of. I treat my man as a King and he treats me as his Queen and together we serve and worship You. That is what I want more than anything. If C---- is not the one for me, please put the man you do want me with in my life. Like I said before, it would be great if my intended were to walk up to me and say, "Hi. Father Yahweh sent me." but only the true man you have planned for me would be able to say that. I certainly don't need Satan messing with me. Not now. So I cover this blog in the blood of Yahshua and ask that a sphere of angels surround and protect me and my words and thoughts in Yahshua's name, Amen!
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