Loneliness is Worse!

Will my fate ever be sealed?

Current mood: lonely

Why is it in every relationship I have ever been in I am always singing Loneliness Is Worse? I already know the answer to that. It is because each time I fall, I fall for a man God did not choose for me. I always make the first move; open the door to a relationship. Maneuvers…say I love you first. I can't help it. I am an open and honest woman. I don't play games. I try to hard. I make excuses. I put blinders on. The men in my life I have given my heart to each had value and significance. I saw such wonderful possibilities in both relationships. I am not a materialistic kind of girl, and I think that may be one of my flaws. Sure I like nice things, but I am storing up my treasures for heaven. I work long days so I can have the Sabbath off. The men in my life hear me when I say that, but then don't like when I observe. I need a man who believes like I do and observes like I do. So you see I know the men in my life were my choice and not Yahweh's. If they were Yahweh's I wouldn't be singing:

Veruca Salt's Lonliness is Worse

When you've had enough
When you've got it bad enough and you can't let go
When it comes to blows
And you start to overflow
But you can't get home
It's a subtle kind of cruel
It taps my spine here
I'm drawing a line
I'm asking please
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon
I'll turn sadder than you ever were and
you'll learn loneliness is worse
You've got to try

December's all alone and he's calling me on the phone
But he sounds so cold
He says he loves me so
But how would I ever know?
Certain words grow old
It's a vicious kind of catch
It sides me blind
nowI'm out of my mind
I wanna to scream
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
Don't you wanna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon
I'll turn sadder than you ever were and
you'll learn loneliness is worse
You've got to try

Love liked me long ago
It had a way of making everyone the same
But how the angels
must laugh and sigh
To hear me pleading with you
Needing this you this way
Oh why don't you wanna to be happy with me?
Don't you wannna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon
I'll turn sadder than you ever were
and you'll learn loneliness is worse
You've got to try to stay mine all the way

Don't you wannna to be happy with me?
Don't you wannna to be happy with me?
I'm afraid if you don't come around soon I'll turn sadder than you ever were and you'll learn loneliness is worse
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's got a way of making everyone the same
It's got a way of making everyone the same

It's right there with Kate Nash's Pumpkin Soup, well, the first verses at least:

You're chatting to me like we connect
But I don't even know if we're still friends
It's so confusing understanding you
it's making me not want to do
The things that I know I should do
But I trip fast and then I lose
And I hate looking like a fool
I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy I just want your kiss I just want your kiss boy, kiss boy, kiss boy I just want your kiss

The lights are on And someone's home
But I'm not sure if they're alone
There's someone else inside my head
Living there too filling me with dread
This paranoia is distressing
But I spend most of my nights guessing
Are we not, are we together
Will this make our lives much better

I AM NOT GETTING INVOLVED EVER AGAIN WITH A MAN, ANY MAN UNLESS HE PROMISES ME THAT HE ISN'T EVER GOING AWAY AND THAT HE WILL ALWAYS STAY! YES!!! He is going to have to show me if I am willing to save him from drowning, then he is never going to let go and therefore will never go away! Just like in the song

My Number by Tegan and Sara:

So watch your head and then watch the ground
It's a silly time to learn to swim
When you start to drown
It's a silly time to learn to swim
On the way down

If I gave you my number
Would it still be the same
If I saved you from drowning
Promise me you'll never go away
Promise me you'll always stay

What I really want to be singing is

Belly's Seal My Fate:

Untame my brain.
Give me a name.
Hear my faith.
Seal my fate.
Unholy and dirty words I gathered to me,
Thinking the point was keep what's mine for me,
While he's laughing.
Hear my faith.
Seal my fate.
And when you breathe, you breathe for two.
And if you think you've finally found the perfect light,
I hope it's true.

Unholy and dirty words I gathered to me,
Thinking the point was keep what's mine for me,
While he's laughing.

On every track I fractured every back,
Thinking the point was step on every crack,
And he's laughing.
Hear my faith.
Seal my fate.
And when you breathe, you breathe for two.
And if you think you've finally found the perfect light,
I hope it's true.

You say you saw him laughing.
I hope it's true.
I'd like to see it happen.
I hope it's true
'Cause I can feel it.
I hope it's true.....

I would love to be someone's light. I would love people to walk up to me and say, "I never saw so and so laugh so hard! He deserves happiness in his life, you are good for him." Yes siree I would love to hear that! I would love to feel that. Hear my faith. That means that man will also understand my beliefs. Seal my fate. Would mean that we are meant for one another, soul-mates. And when you breathe, you breathe for two. Means we are one and his life is my life., .And if you think you've finally found the perfect light, I hope it's true. Would mean he believes as I do and we are sactioned by The Father and therefore married and happy.

You'll have to excuse me…I need to go cry now. I'll be better tomorrow, until the witching hour rolls around again.

Currently listening : King By Belly
Release date: 1995-02-14

I just noticed the release date on that album. 2/14 Valentines Day, I was married on V-Day in 1982...NOW...I truly am blue. *Heavy sigh* I am my own worse enemy!