That Belief Needs To Be forgotten

Here I go off on another tirade
Thinking of you makes me want to rage
I can fill a books every page
I just pray it is with sage

You are so on my mind steeling my time
I know all your reasons and the rhyme
I see the clear picture and it makes me whine
Frustration hollows no improvement with time.

The expectation put on you was to develop and grow
Not be stagnate and become archaic and low
You settled in and did the opposite going slow
It kills you that I understand you so well and know

Your thought process became quite antiquated
Your self involvement grew to portions of epic
You sit there in denial which makes it more tragic
Longing for that one person to appear like magic

You will never admit you are responsible for your own happiness
It’s easier to point the finger and wallow in sadness
Let others think what they like even if you are viewed as worthless
To destroy that perception you’d have to progress and become selfless

Oh hell that’s too much like work forget about that
That’s too much pressure for you when it’s ambition you lack
In stead you wait on a miracle maker to cover your track
Better they pick up any an all slack
You know better…that notion is whack
You need a wake up call or perhaps a smack

Your connections to those in your life are non existent
Being stone walled for so long they are no longer persistent
Now several relationships are on the verge of extinction
One would think you would have seen you dads correlation

Sorry to say there is a parallel
You know it is true you are not an imbecile
First step is facing facts and acknowledging the trouble
Try opening up yourself and letting in another

It takes a lot of work to make a relationship thrive
It takes two making an effort to keep it alive
Learning to listen and maybe counting to five
It isn’t good keeping your feelings in a hive

The key to it all is good communication
Being open, honest, understanding developing the vocation
It is going to be hard with your current location
However it can be done with a bit of innovation

The key to being loved is loving yourself first
How can you love someone else if you don’t love yourself first
Your self loathing and dislike of self is the worst
No, your distrust of others and that wall you have up is the worst

You have to give up on the notion you are fringed
That people who love you are seriously unhinged
I hear the things you say and they make me cringe
Circumstance, status and supposed curses clouds like a grey tinge

Your lack of self belief has you so trodden
You are so blind to yourself it is disheartening
Stop telling yourself that you are rotten
Oh babe, that belief needs to be forgotten

Talk about a double standard marriage! Or maybe I should entitle this: What a stupid woman I am!

Marriage, per the Encarta Dictionary on line, English version, is:

a legally recognized relationship, established by a civil or religious
ceremony, between two people who intend to live together as sexual and domestic partners.

2. a married relationship between two people, or a somebody’s relationship
with his or her spouse.

3. the joining together in wedlock of two people

the ceremony in which two people are joined together formally in wedlock.

a close union, blend, or mixture of two things.

Wedlock: the state of being married

Nuptial: relating to marriage or weddings

Wedding: a ceremony in which two people get married * the bringing together of two individuals uniting of two things (in this case people)

Okay, so reading the Encarta my interpretation of Married:

Two people who are completely dedicated to one another that willingly devote a lot of time and effort to living their lives united and blended as one.

Loyalty is key as well. Standing by your man, but he has to be A Man! A man is a person of male gender who has a code of honor and lives by that code. He is a provider, protector, and lover. A stand up guy who knows how to be there and be everything his mate needs and wants. He follows through and believes in himself because he believes in the relationship and the woman he is devoted to. He believes his worth because he knows the woman he loves and adores respects and trusts him to take care of her and hers. He knows she will be what ever he wants and give him whatever he needs. Be his everything… anything.

When a man is allowed to be who he is, is liked for who he is and isn’t expected to change he should be appreciative of his mate, no? If his family and friends are counted as her friends and family and all are accepted as they are, just treated as individuals with respect and kindness, then that man should be appreciative that his woman isn’t trying to get rid of his support system of loved ones. You have managed to get rid of her support system and don’t have to deal with any of her old school mates or family. Only on holidays and birthdays. Wait, she says you don’t have to go to the family holiday dinners? You can do whatever you want? You are thinking, “No such woman exists!” You say she never says no sexually and was willing to satisfy you however you wanted. You would think if such a woman existed a man would be appreciative of his wife, wouldn't you? He isn’t forced to go to church or believe any religious mumbo jumbo and isn’t forced to work two jobs, the wife is willing to work…wouldn’t you think she was an ok wife? Now, maybe the house isn’t as clean as you would like it, however, she doesn’t nag and complain when you want to go hunting, fishing, bowling, or over to your friends house to watch the game. You want a couple of snakes, a lizard or two, a tarantula, dogs, cats, rabbits hell, you can even add a duck to the mix! Just keep in mind, the house IS NOT going to be spotless with five people and this zoo going on! Especially if she works, some times three jobs. She is the one to run the kids around. He doesn’t have to worry about trips to the doctors or going to parent teacher conferences, he get’s to do the fun stuff like going to the kid’s concerts, plays and field trips. He gets his favorite meal once a week…pizza and other creature comforts! Hell, why not let his mother come and stay. Or if his siblings need a place to crash for a spell…. his friends can move in if they need a place to stay as well! Now, tell me something. If you can find a woman who would allow all this, would you not want to make her the happiest woman alive? You hate your job and you are out of work for a spell, and she has to hit the food pantry because, though it is you who quit the job, you have too much pride to go yourself.

What's that? You have no idea why she gets so depressed. Oh hell, she is gaining weight. Yuk, she is disgusting and she wants you to make love to that? Man she is so disappointing! She doesn’t make the kids minds; look at this house! It’s filthy oh and now she doesn’t want to cook and when she does it isn’t like she use too. What the hell is wrong with her? Lazy fat b!tch and now she wants to be serviced. Yeah! Dream on. You don’t deserve it. What the hell do you do all day? Look at this house!!! The laundry needs to be done… well I guess I’ll have to do it, just like I have to do everything else around here!

Did you ever come home from work and find the little woman doing your job? You know, the man is supposed to take care of the garbage. You have the means to get rid of it, it’s just a hassle. So, you have let it go and the animals have gotten into it. Now you have to go out side on your day off and pick up… ooo Yuk! You come home after work one day and there is your wife. You know the one! She came from a nice home, had money, looks, and education and she chose you to be her help mate. Her protector. Her man! There she is, and all you can think to say to her is, “Oh, thank god. I didn’t want to have to do that.” So she bagged it all again, you cover it with a tarp. First chance you get you'll take it to the dump, only three weeks later it catches on fire! Now her father has to hire a guy with a small front loader and dump truck to cart your family’s trash away! Gees, why is she depressed? Couldn't possibly be because while she was outside taking care of your responsibilities so she didn’t hear the phone ring…which prompted her good friend's ride to the house in search of a baby sitter…where she was caught doing your job and was embarrassed beyond words...